What Is Stopping Women From Creating The Life They Desire? Not Being Good Enough

Do you feel great about yourself, comfortable in your body, in love with what you do, appreciated by your friends and loved by your intimate partner and kids? If you answer yes, you are a lucky woman. The truth is that most women feel lack of confidence in some area of their life. Almost every woman simply doesn't feel good enough in some way.

My experience is that not being good enough is the main reason why we don't pursue our true goals and aspirations.

We all have different reasons for not feeling good enough but what we have in common is that it comes from our childhood and how we were appreciated as girls by our parents and the whole society.

There is always criticism, judgment or comparison to something or someone else in the root of this belief.

What I want to focus on in this article is not feeling good enough as girls and later women because of being compared to boys respective men.

Going back to your childhood you can find that being a girl was perceived as less than being a boy. Even though that consciously you haven't agreed with it at all, you may have accepted it on a subconscious level.

1. Women status in the society

How were women appreciated by the society you grew up within? Were women during your upbringing treated equally as men? Have they had same rights and status? If your answer is no, then you have more likely developed a belief that being a woman is not good enough.

2. Your dad and mum

How was your parents relationship? You may have observed the same belief of being only a woman who doesn't deserve the same as a man from your mum's behaviour. If that is the case it was most likely supported by your dad's confirming behaviour. And even though you didn't like it and was fighting against it the chance it you have finally accepted it unconsciously.

3. You were born instead of a boy

You may have grown up in a family that expected a boy. And instead of that a girl was born. Your parents or even grandparents may have expressed their disappointment. And that is just a step away from developing the 'not good enough' belief.

4. Your brother hero

What about this scenario? You had a brother who was great in everything he was doing. And everyone was comparing you to him. Whatever you did, nothing was as good as what he did. You were never as good as him, never good enough. I guess it didn't help to develop a great confidence in being an amazing girl and a woman later on, did it?

5. Lack of affection from your father

Did you have a demanding or busy father who was not there for you emotionally? Did you feel like you had to be the best in everything you were doing to deserve his attention and love? Did you succeed? Girls who don't feel enough of love and appreciation from their fathers quite often struggle to build a healthy self-esteem as girls and women.

6. It's only for boys

If you as a child were stopped from doing something you really wanted to do or from expressing yourself fully just because you were a girl, guess what? You could have understood that something is there only for boys and not for girls. Girls are just not good enough to have or do the same things as boys.

7. She is only a woman

I guess that almost all of us have heard someone's critical or cynical comments towards women such as "she can't be good in that, she is just a woman." What about comment and jokes about women drivers and their parking skills, jokes about blonds, sexist comments etc. It may be meant innocently but it doesn't help.

I wanted to suggest couple of samples of possible circumstances and situations in which beliefs of not being good enough may have been born. These are just some examples based on my experience from working with my clients. I don't suggest that everyone had a bad childhood, the society was wrong and parents did not love their daughters. Beliefs are always born on our perception and understanding at the time. And a perception is just a perception and as such it can be changed.

What I suggest is to look at your personal situation. Look back into your childhood and find what did cause you to adopt this belief of not being good enough. Once you remember, you can set yourself free. It's worthy to do so because you're worthy. There is no need to carry on beliefs that don't serve you anymore.

There is no need for any comparisons. We don't need to compare men and women, one to the other. We are all unique and perfect as we are. We all deserve to live lives we desire and create careers we want.