Is Your View of the World the Only "Truth"?

Part of my work in coaching is to lead teleclasses with students of coaching. Today I led a class on what I call: Personal World View. Our cultural and historical discourse affects our view of our personal world. This includes all the stories we hold around almost any topic. Everyone holds his own personal view!!

I read a list of topics during the class and asked the participants to choose the one to which they felt a strong emotion and/or the one where a story immediately came to mind as to how they came to this view. Some of the topics are listed below:

1. Police car appears In your rearview mirror
2. Storms
3. Christmas
4. Divorce
5. Making your bed
6. Sunday afternoon naps
7. Eating Pork
8. Government
9. White shoes
10. Snow

This exercise list was created early this morning when Rich and I were watching the weather forecast... really! Immediately upon hearing SNOW Rich responded with, "Oh no!" (Well not actually his wording but you can imagine... ) I responded with, "Yea! Our first storm of the season!" We laughed and I asked him if he had ever liked snow and what was the story behind his dislike. He quickly responded with the story that his shift from liking to "hating" snow began at age 10. He had loved snow as a kid, but upon turning 10 it became his job to "scoop" or shovel the walks and he had to walk a fair distance through the storm to go to school. (He grew up in Nebraska... there were lots of big snowstorms every winter!) My story was quite the opposite, as I've always loved storms, especially snowstorms. My stories include building snow forts and then cross country skiing right out my door as an adult.

Our exchange of stories led to brainstorming the list of topics for the teleclass. I could see how exploring the personal world view each of us had around varied topics would so easily support a discussion and understanding of how we each determine our individual "truths". The way we observe the world is affected by every one of our experiences and stories from our history... family, country, world... and our culture... age, gender, race or ethnicity, religion, personality type and on and on.

During the teleclass participants shared stories that have shaped their individual views of the world. One woman sees divorce as "freedom and fabulous"; another sees it as "humiliating and breaking rules of her family". The "police car in the rearview mirror" brought out a longer story of now feeling tension because of being followed late at night and not knowing it was a police car. The story included a speeding ticket and not having her fear understood... until she got to the judge. "Christmas" brought out the question of what did I mean: the religious holiday or family celebration? I asked that person, "What does it mean to you?"

We then discussed how all of our emotions come from a story and are stored all over our bodies. (Read Candace Pert's research.) When we are reminded of the topic, our body responds and our brain connects to the story and feelings we hold. At that point we have choices: hold onto the personal world view we determined from our story, or see that view as one of many. It allows us to realize that we can choose to accept another view if we so desire. We further discussed how determining if our view serves us and our relationship with those around us is one factor in deciding whether to explore other views.

One of the most important things to remember is that we are affected by our past, even our far distant past of culture and history. When we think about those stories, we are bringing them into the present. So, just saying, "that's in the past and I'll just forget it, " will not serve us if we keep bringing it into the present. Our choice is to consider a change in how we view the story and how often we allow the old story to affect us. Again, is it serving us and those around us... or not?

Knowing we each have a personal world view will serve us in understanding and relating better to those around us. If Rich reacts with "oh no" at the mention of a snowstorm, I have a choice. I can be irritated with him, try to change his view to mine, or even lecture him that he should not get upset with things he can't change. Or I can understand his personal world view and allow him his reaction... while being excited in my own right. (Oh yeah,

I'm not wrong if everyone does not agree with me... another topic for another time!!??) Allowing is a choice and an action. Understanding how someone else views the world changes our own perspective... whether we react from "my way is the only way" or consider that there just might be another way to see and feel the world.

"The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you: they are unique manifestations of the human spirit. "

- Wade Davis