Good Enough

"I am not good enough." What a sad, lonely, empty thought. Yet, this thought is pervasive in many people's lives. Whether you feel you aren't a "good enough" mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, friend, co-worker, employee, boss, caregiver, worker, you name it - whatever terms you use to define yourself and your identity - somehow many of us ultimately feel as though we just are not "good enough." This begs the question "What is enough?" And if we could define "enough," what on earth would make it "good?"

According to dictionary.com the word "enough" is defined as "adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or to satisfy desire." As a society (and arguably the world) there seems to be an insatiable desire for more. Hence the feeling of not ever having, doing or being "enough." So what does this mean? Does it mean we should be complacent? We should not have ambition? We should be satisfied with what we have and not desire for more? Like most things in life, the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle.

Personally, I think we define whether we have "enough," by comparing ourselves to others. When we deem that some one else has achieved more than us, by comparison, we can be left feeling as though we are just not "good enough." It is our interpretation of our differing levels of achievement, and our feelings of what we "should" be, do and have, that can lead us to doubt our current position and feel not "good enough." I believe the antidotes for feeling not "good enough" are gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude for all we have and appreciation for all we are, right now, in this very moment. This is very different from complacency. With this gratitude and appreciation, we can then strive for greater things from a healthy and balanced place.

When I watched my beautiful 15 month old son learn how to balance one block on top of another and be so incredibly proud of himself, I found myself wondering "Gee, I can do that too... how come I don't feel that proud of myself?" Now, I am not advocating for false and inflated cockiness. But, in an effort to not appear cocky, we can so often not give ourselves the credit we deserve. The truth is, we all do a thousand, wonderful, amazing things every day- from waking up and getting ourselves to the job we earned through our own determination and hard work, and getting ourselves to the store and shopping for food with the money we earned from working hard at the job we earned, to cooking, reading, bathing and breathing, to just simply having nice thoughts and doing nice things for other people. These may seem like small things, yet many small accomplishments had to occur in life for all of this to fall into place. Frequently, though, we seem to forget all of this and brush it off as nothing.

When talking about comparisons, yes, perhaps these achievements don't seem so amazing by comparison to others', however they are achievements none-the-less. It may sound ridiculous, but why not say, "Hey, Kathi, way to brush your teeth this morning!" or "Way to get out of bed when all you really wanted to do was stay in there all day because it's so ding-dang cozy" or, better, yet, "Way to go Kath, you are learning and growing in new ways every day. Keep up the good work?" Yes, the first two examples may feel ridiculous, but really, what's the harm? The truth is, we are all achieving lots of great things every day. We are all unique, beautiful, creative beings with our own unique stories and purposes in this lifetime. Why not take a moment every day to be grateful for all we have and appreciate all we are? And do so knowing full well that we all are, and always will be, "good enough."