Things I Have Learned

I have learned:

1. I am not the titles I wear.

2. Being retrenched could be my rebirth.

3. That nothing is perfect.

4. That I have more strength than I imagined.

I am not the titles I wear. To outsiders I am a wife, mother, sister, best friend and Operations Manager, but at one point the responsibility that comes along with these roles took over my life. I had no idea what I was really feeling besides overwhelmed. I have now learned that I need to take care of myself in order to care for everyone else.

Being retrenched could be my rebirth. I did not make the decision to end my employment but I have come to realize that it was one the best things that has ever happened to me. In hindsight, I discovered 10 years of an emotionally stressful job had changed me, and not for the better. So I embraced the opportunity to learn about myself and dove into watching my son grow. That I can reinvent myself at any age.

That nothing is perfect, not even myself, and that's something to celebrate. I used to think that if I followed the rules and stayed silent, my life would run in a straight line, It doesn't work this way. I have had to face detours, and dirt roads, and to my surprise, those moments have bought out the best in me.

That I have more strength than I imagined. My dad was diagnosed with Cancer - Carcinoma of the Cheek, soon after my son was born, after that my mom had a stroke, soon after our 34 years family home burnt to the ground and I got retrenched. I was devastated but now, 5 months later, we are living our new normal; battling cancer, raising a wonderful child, a recovered mom physically and maintaining a loving marriage. In my quiet moments, I feel astounded that we have found the inner resources to survive.

Now I take limitations in stride and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size. Nelson Mandela said, "I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one finds many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come but I rest only for a moment for with freedom comes responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.