How we lead first begins with our relationship to our "self." In fact, everything we do stems from this source of mindset. It determines our perception and how we see our self in relation to others and to the world at large. I've come to understand three general categories of self-identity/self-image and how each one will show up in our everyday lives in business and, specifically, as leaders.
Keep in mind that 95% of what runs our lives is out of our awareness or "unconscious." It can be accessed, if you understand how, yet most people are too busy "doing." They have lost sight of the present moment and how to "be."
Hence, most of what is possible or what they truly act out in their lives goes right over their heads; they are so busy-minded that they miss what would otherwise be obvious. So before you write off a category, be mindful that if you are not fully self-actualized-as Maslow would say of one who is enlightened and evolved, with feet planted on the earth-there is a good chance that on some level at least some of this applies to you.
The first category would be "Low self-image/self-esteem." Here the identity is, for example, "I am not good enough," "I am not worthy," "I am powerless/helpless," or "Something is wrong with me." Keep in mind that these stories in our brain are often formed before age seven and get locked into our physiology at the level of cellular memory. So even if you are 50, you may still be carrying the thoughts and feelings that formed in early childhood based on an illogical story. Here are some ways that it can manifest in everyday business as a leader:
* Fear of risk taking - fear of innovation/change
* Perfectionism - fear of making mistakes
* A passive leader avoiding conflict - people-pleasing to a fault
* Aggressive, over reactive - bullying and controlling to self-protect
* Invulnerability and lack of trust - hiding behind an "intellectual" mask
The second category is one where the self-identity/self-esteem is not really intrinsically felt to be low, yet there is an excessive dependence on externals to provide sense of self-worth, security, and love. "Enough is never enough." Also, being a people-pleaser is typically associated. As long as there are enough labels, awards, and personal recognition, one's self-esteem is okay, and even feels high. This person can really be into comparing her or himself against others and against transient external values. They tend to be out of touch with their authentic soul gifts and talents; all that matters is achievement and recognition. The problem is, the external world is shaky and unstable. Hence, self-worth is unstable, and if one loses their standing, down plummets self-identity. Of course, this is a gradient and not a one-size-fits-all range. Here's how it shows up in business leadership:
* Often a "likeable" leader - yet not always straightforward
* Typically an "over-achiever" or "go-getter" out of balance in other areas
* Can feel easily upset if not recognized "enough"
* Insecure and has to struggle with envy of others and self-comparison - limits ability to develop others
* May create hierarchy of judging others constantly: "I'm better than, smarter than... " - which is damaging to collaboration with others
The last category is a leader who is well on the way in the journey of "self-actualization." He or she is consciously moving through their fears, insecurities, and emotional pain. They are truly courageous and inspiring. They are more self-aware of the need to bring together congruently the mind and heart - a "heartless mind" is no way to live. They respect their intellect AND their feelings. In fact, the energetic magnetic power of feelings has been measured to be 5,000 times the magnetic energy of thought alone - and they understand the power of the heart to fuel a vision. This is the category we can all grow into when we are ready to step up to real innovation and change with a "brave heart." This leader is tapping into their spirit and realizing that there is more than meets the eye. They are visionary. They understand that growth is a process and can know that who they are is not what they do. This leader is confident enough from inside out to allow others to also grow, and she or he in fact encourages others to step up. Here are some examples of how this would show up in business leadership:
* Willingness to "fear-less" - to be vulnerable
* Higher levels of innovation and risk-taking - more creative and insightful
* Better able to self-manage emotional landscape - of self and others
* Leads by example, congruent - walks the talk
* Collaborative - able to allow others to have more autonomy, purpose and self-mastery, which leads to better ownership and alignment
Of course, there can be overlap, and this is not a linear process of development. Where does all of this begin? In the mind, the control tower of our lives. It also has to engage the heart. As long as we are afraid to address the arena of emotion and feeling we will continue to live from a paradigm that feelings are bad and to be avoided and repressed at all costs. We will continue to imprison ourselves in an illusion.
Feelings and emotion are the doorway to true personal power. Research is showing that we are assigning the meaning to our lives. We are "making it up" as we travel. Wouldn't it make sense to learn how to re-write the script of your mind and co-create a more empowering story line? A story that integrates the "whole" you; spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically; one that does not vilify an important aspect of being human - having feelings.
Your health, wealth, and relationships depend on it. Whatever you think and feel with belief is what you will experience. You'd be better off if you understood how to create more joy, peace, and appreciation in your life. This ancient principle is now being validated by science. What are your thoughts about the power of self-identity and leadership? Who do you think you are?
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar