Goal Setting Tips For Improved Living

Goal Setting Tips For Improved Living

If you wish to make all your dreams come true, you would have to do all that’s possible to set your goals.  For successful goal setting, there are many things to be put into consideration.  Pursuing something you would consider rather important in your life means that you’ll have to do a lot of research and groundwork as to how you can successfully achieve every ambition you’ve set out for yourself.  Spending a whole lot of time on these things can give you with the necessary focus to guarantee some much awaited success in life.  Below are some essential goal setting tips you will want to look into to finally be able to realize all your aspirations:

It is important to be clear on what you wish to achieve.  Being vague as you set your goals will only confuse you as to what it is exactly that you want or need to accomplish.  Avoid being so abstract or imprecise, since this can only contribute to much time wasted on how to fully succeed.  A lot of time and effort will be wasted if you don’t specify your intentions.  It doesn’t matter whether you’re looking for success in love, career, finances, etc; you will want to keep in mind that being meticulous and detailed in your plans can go a long way to achieving them for good.

Be as realistic as possible when setting your goals.  When you’re someone who has many things to be accomplished, you will want to make sure that the things you have in mind are attainable.  Reality is the key element to consider here, so stop fantasizing about touching the sky or suddenly owning a wallet which generates endless amounts of money out of thin air.

Be as timely as possible.  Setting a proper schedule on how, when and where you’ll be attempting to achieve your goals makes it even more viable to attain some success.  Give yourself a time frame to follow.  If you’re hoping to lose a number of pounds, determine just how much time it will take for you to do that and work on it.  With deadlines being set, it helps avoid succumbing to laziness and giving you a sense of urgency in actually fulfilling your objectives.  Apart from that, it will keep you quite motivated to strive hard in achieving the success you’ve so long desired for your goals.
These are three essential tips that you will need to take into heart if you really wish to be successful in whatever plans you may have for yourself.  With the proper method of goal setting tips in tow, there’s practically no chance that you won’t achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

Critical Success Factors

Critical Success Factor

If you’re someone who has a goal in mind, you would want to make sure that you’re on the right track in order to finally see things come to fruition.  You may have a plan which is pretty much a key to your success, and you’re motivated just enough to actually pull through with your goals.  However, as time goes by, the steam starts to dissipate into thin air, and soon enough you find yourself going off-course.  Therefore, if you really wish to finally achieve all your aspirations in life, you will need to incorporate a few critical success factors.  The factors provided below can help you obtain all that you’ve desired in life.

Believing in yourself.  There’s not much point in going after something if you don’t believe that you can do it.  Of course, many people would say that it’s pretty easy to have such strong beliefs in the beginning, simply because the focus is there.  However, this is something which should never be neglected.  Even with all the challenges posed upon you, the belief should stay strong and firm.  This helps you maintain your focus on the vision you’ve had for whatever objectives you wish to reach.  Sometimes you would have to make a mental note every now and then to remind yourself of what you can do and how you can do them,

Self-confidence.  Initially, because of all the excitement, you may have a huge amount of confidence in yourself.  Yet, many people have experienced their confidence levels waning in time due to the challenges they come across.  If this is something which may happen to you, always bear in mind that you once had the belief of reaching your intended goals.  Continue believing in what you can do, going as far as even writing down a list of the reasons why you felt like you could achieve anything you want.  There will always be obstacles to come across, yet these are only temporary, and your confidence in what you can do should help you overcome them all.

Remaining motivated.  It can be pretty difficult to maintain motivation for your objectives.  However, this is one of many critical success factors which can truly drive you to finally achieving everything you’ve always sought for yourself.  To be motivated, you simply have to be as optimistic as possible Find inspiration in the things you do, and accept the fact that your goal is as important as any other achievement you’ve made in your life.  Having this mindset can simply help you get through all the obstacles coming your way, and keep you going until you’ve finally attained your aims in life.

Determined to Succeed

Determined to Succeed

For some people, success comes naturally. For others, it is something that they really have to work hard for. Although people are created equal, there really are some people who might not get to succeed. If you want to have success, you would really need to be determined to succeed. Nothing is impossible in this world, so you should really try to find ways in order for you to get the success in life.

One of the first things that you need if you want to succeed in whatever you want to do is to have faith in yourself. If you believe in yourself, and your ambition is firm, you could really be on your way to success. Any trouble and hindrances on your efforts will just be nothing if you keep believing in yourself. Although some failures may be quite depressing, especially if it involves something that you want or need so badly, you should only see them as a lesson in life. Learn from them and try to move on with what you are doing. If you just suppress your failures with your confidence, you will find that what seemed impossible can be solved.

Another thing that you need to remember if you want to succeed is that you have to resolve that you will succeed. If you are determined to succeed, you will often get the results that you want. You should promise to yourself that you will become successful. You should always try to focus on the goal that you want, and not any other thing. Although there are many things in life that can divert your attention, you should always keep yourself resolute in order for you to really achieve success. If you are focused, you will have a much better chance of attaining the success that you need.

If you really want to succeed, you might also want to find ways that you could motivate yourself. There are many different books that you could read in order for you to find the success that you want. Aside from that, you could also try to find mentors that you could base your success on. This way, you will have a better idea on achieving what you want. You will really get to have the success that you want if you know the steps that you need to take in order to achieve it.

Success is something that most people can readily achieve. However, many people still find that it is hard to get success because of hindrances. However, success often boils down to your own determination. If you are determined to succeed, you would really get have what you want. You control your success, so you should really make it a point to tell yourself that you can succeed.

Is Guilt a Good Motivator?

I recently had one of those "ah-ha" moments as I was walking down the street mumbling to myself about what a terrible human I am for reacting in a way that I wish I hadn't. Feeling horrible and wanting relief, I was searching my mind for all the self-help guru suggestions while repeating a few positive affirmations meant to "redirect my energies" (you know the drill) when suddenly the simplest thought squeezed between the chem. trail of (spiritual-sounding but ultimately) judgments (that were suppose to prove I was a good person).

Has guilt ever lead me to being a better person? The answer was so clear.... NO, it actually hadn't. I felt a surge of relief. It was in that moment I had permission to stop feeling bad. My body immediately relaxed. What was feeling guilty really going to accomplish anyway? Isn't it just a backwards way of trying to prove I care?

Am I a happier person, a kinder mother, a more loving friend or a more compassionate companion due to guilt? Has guilt lead to creating a new me?

Okay, sure. I've probably made a few small shifts and well-meaning apologies but in truth, have I actually changed any undesirable aspects of myself due to guilt? Any changes I may have experienced were most definitely short-term. Any behaviors I have transformed were due to my desire to create something new and that desire was what motivated me, whereas guilt merely haunted me.

I can see where our society has inadvertently believed that guilt was good. That it has seemingly lead to actions that have in turn helped me believe I was in fact, an okay gal. But there's a difference between being motivated by guilt (taking actions that are usually short-term or that backfire) and learning from guilt (gaining self-knowledge that leads to new choices).

At its best, guilt can help me understand where I'd like to make changes. It provides clarity as to what is or is not working regarding certain behaviors (which at their core are just habits) I can then take that information and use it as the impetus to learn, speak and act in ways that are more in alignment to my true desires.

If guilt is my motivator, others will feel it. There's a good chance their responses to me will match my unconscious motivations. My daughter has been a great teacher in this area. When I do something because I want to make up for something I'm feeling guilty about, she's usually not too receptive. At best I get a grunt in return, but what usually occurs is she outright refuses my gesture, I feel hurt and react, and then guess what happens? Guilt wins again (nice repetitive pattern I've got going here)! She's not buying my guilt-based actions/words, often she refuses to let me "fix it" and why should she? Since they're all about bringing me relief... not her.

Guilt is lame as a motivator. Action derived from my desire to be more understanding and caring of her is quite different from decisions that are direct descendants of guilt. Guilt can show me something is "off," but that's the end of its usefulness.

Consider your guilt-induced actions and decide if you're demonstrating care or building some unhealthy cyclical pattern in your relationships?

When you're willing to listen and not speak from guilt, not react from guilt, not accept guilt, but come from a willingness to understand what the other person is feeling, your power to authentically care for the other person arises.

No one wants you to feel bad, really. What they want is your care. They want you to know they're hurting. You can only support them in understanding that there is pain there and your actions may have awakened it and your love and support can help them release it, whereas your guilt may only perpetuate a cycle of blame, guilt and temporary relief.

For more by Kimberly Berg, click here.

For more on emotional intelligence, click here.

 

Your Computer Needs Attention Too

Your Computer Needs Attention Too

With all of the pressure from environmental organizations on reducing waste, many have opted
to go paperless and store documents on their computers. By doing this there is less clutter
floating around your home and office. However, computers need to be organized as well. Simply
saving things in the hard drive will quickly use up space and slow down you computers
functions. Also, if you need to find something specific, you’ll find it may take you hours, by the
time you check through all of the existing saved documents.

If you have Microsoft word you have the ability to create files. If you have one computer in your
home then have a file for each member of the family. These files will eventually get full so at
various intervals through the year have a computer clear out. Tell everyone they have one week
to sort their files or everything will get dumped. This way, all of the things that you need will be
saved and the less important items can be discarded.

If you live on your own or want to clean up your work computer, folders can help with this as
well. Just create folders for certain sections of your life. Perhaps bills, appointments and so
forth. This way you can access tings easily without having to wade through years and years of
old documents. Learn to use your folders section. You will be amazed how quickly things
accumulate.

If you have a lot of things stored and genuinely need all of them, than consider getting some
back up computer disks. Even though you may need everything, some things will still be more
important than others. Keep the more important items saved on your computer and the others
on disks. This way you can keep computer space free and still keep everything. Make sure you
label your disks and keep a good filing system. This way you can still access what you need
quickly.

With the pressure to go paperless, many of us forget to keep our computers organized. You
need to keep on top of these things so you computer runs well and you can get to what you
need.

Who Is Driving Your Life?

Would you like to see less drama in your home, your workplace, or your relationships? When asked this question, no one says, "Stop! I love the rollercoaster of people's stuff. Give me more drama!" Most people just roll their eyes and say, "Oh my goodness, yes! I am so tired of it." That's why I think of "less drama" as my short answer when people ask me: "Why do we need spiritual intelligence?"
Have you found that there is a part of you that you are not so proud of -- that can be immature, defensive, and suspicious? I call this part our ego self. And have you observed that there is another part of you that may surprise you at times with its wisdom, compassion and centeredness? I call this the Higher Self. You might prefer to call it your spirit or soul or any of a hundred other synonyms. If you can just relate to this simple distinction of ego self and Higher Self, then you have taken the first step on the road to high SQ.
Our ego self is a crucial part of us. But until we learn to help it grow up it does tend to exaggerate all the daily threats of life. Think of it as a volatile 13-year-old, prone to slamming doors, getting into fights and gossiping. Spiritual intelligence, or SQ, allows us to shift from being driven by our fear-activated high-drama ego to being driven by our calmer, wiser Higher Self.
The complex question "What is ego?" will be explored and explained more in future posts. But this simple way of looking at our two selves can be extremely helpful in building SQ. At the heart of my approach to this process is one essential question: Who is driving my life? Who is in charge of my decisions? Am I letting my immature ego desires tell me who I should be, how I should act, and what I should strive for? Or is there a deeper, calmer Higher Self voice guiding my choices?
We can learn to observe when our inner voice is small, scared or defensive. This ego-self identifies with making us the victim of all those heartless bad people out there and makes itself the hero. "I had pure intentions but just LOOK at what that other person did to me!" When I engage in a blame-game I know I am coming from a frightened ego perspective.
The ego leaps to assumptions about other people's motives and tends to assume the worst. On the contrary, the Higher Self is more humble, honest, and objective. It acknowledges that it never (yes, never) has all the information. The Higher Self would say, "I really don't know WHY the other person just did that behavior... But I can imagine the pain or circumstances that might cause someone to do that." Higher Self remains open and curious, and from this place come better decisions.
Why does it matter if my immature ego self is driving my life? Won't I just be getting what I want out of life? My answer: I doubt it. At best, you will get short-term gratification. But in the long run, immature ego-behaviors leave you empty, unfulfilled.
Think about people you know. You may know someone who seems so wound up and easily triggered that everyone tiptoes around her. Or you may know someone who is always arguing with or attacking someone. It is as if she or he is only "happy" when outraged and full of adrenaline. Or you may know someone who just seems to go out of his or her way to be helpless and get rescued. And whether we like to admit it or not, in our most honest moments we know that there's a part of ourselves that sometimes is easily triggered, enjoys feeling self-righteous, or likes others to fix our problems. And coming back to drama -- where there is drama, you can be sure there are two or more triggered or immature egos interacting.
Why does this matter? In the workplace, egos can create tremendous loss of morale and productivity. The follow-on costs show up in poor employee retention, low customer service numbers, higher recruiting costs, and higher production costs. In our own lives, drama can steal our joy.
Fortunately we have another part of ourselves -- a "Higher Self" or most authentic self. It's the part of us that is unselfish, loving, and wise. I like to say that when I'm operating from my Higher Self, nothing I do would embarrass me if it were printed on the front page of the newspaper, because I would be operating, to the best of my understanding, from the intention to be a loving person in the world.
Once we can acknowledge, with compassion, that there are these different drives within each of us -- some that are more noble, kind and inspired, and others that tend toward pettiness, selfishness, and limitation -- then we can understand the basic practice of developing spiritual intelligence. The bottom line is that if you're going to be more spiritually intelligent, you need to act less from your ego and more from your Higher Self.
Here is the essence of what spiritual intelligence allows us to do: We can mature the ego, gently shift it out of the driver's seat, and allow our Higher Self to drive the car of our life. That's when the destination suddenly becomes clear, the process speeds up, and we develop at maximum pace. All the while, we are also at peace in the moment, knowing and trusting that the best part of ourselves is in charge, and therefore we are in the best place we could possibly be, right now.

'Failure' Is Not a Dirty Word

I teach all my life coaching clients to dare to dream, to be bold and go after what they really want in their lives. I'm not talking about having one or two dreams; I get clients to create dreams in all areas of their lives. Inevitably, there is one issue that arises when going after a dream: failure.
It's actually guaranteed that you will fail at some point while pursuing a dream in your life. But when you fail, will you misunderstand its lessons like most people usually do? Or will you relate powerfully to your failures? Most people are afraid of failure and never face it directly, thinking that admitting failure will prevent success. But it's critical to understand that experiencing failure is just as important as, and is usually a stepping-stone to achieving, success.
Failure is not a dirty word, except everyone has a dirty relationship with it. Failure is smart, brilliant and painful; that pain is honest. Most people do everything to avoid real pain, but this is a mistake, especially in failing.
The first thing you should do is admit defeat. Whether it's in your love life, how you handle money, your career, or relationships, there really is a point at which you should do yourself a favor and admit you've hit a wall. Stop trying to keep going or jumping to blame yourself or others for what isn't working. Blaming yourself is not the same as taking responsibility. Blaming yourself leads nowhere.
Next, I help my clients really see that they have landed facedown in a sloppy puddle and are stuck in a mess that needs to be figured out and cleaned up. Knowing this helps them develop a more powerful relationship to failure. I advise them to "tee-up" a good cry, in the context of facing it once and for all. In this stage, you're going to surrender, cry and then "get back on the horse" much smarter and stronger. It's important to feel whatever you're feeling so you can move through it, but you can't fake this part. Mourn so you can let it go and start to understand the failure. Once you throw out your white flag and admit you're sitting in a sloppy puddle, you're closer to success than you've probably been in a long time.
This is when you need to come to terms with the truth that you failed, and it's time to use hindsight to figure out what you would have done differently. Often people don't think they actually failed. Instead they blame other people and situations, never taking responsibility. "It's the economy." "He did it." "I didn't have enough time." And on and on. When you blame others, you can't see what exactly happened or the impact of your choices, and so you can't embrace the lesson you need to learn in order to later succeed. To see just how you failed, you must break it down honestly. How did you fail? What happened? What did you do wrong? What could you have done differently? Any honest regrets? In each failure, there's a reason why and it's usually a pattern in your life you must break. If you look back over your life, you'll see that you repeated many of the same mistakes over and over. It's because you never learned the lesson. Looking at the specifics of your failure and understanding what happened is the only way to learn the lesson and stop the pattern.

I've had clients who've been divorced several times who didn't do the right work to learn the right lesson. But when I got them to really look deeply at their broken marriages and tell the truth about what went wrong, they could see the mistakes they repeated and lessons they missed in all their marriages.
A former client recently called me, so upset that she had regained the 20 pounds she lost with me. She felt like a failure. When I asked her what she thought happened, she explained that a work project at her job had distracted her from taking care of herself. With a few more questions, she could see the real reason for the failure: She had changed her rules. Instead of having one "free" meal per week, she had decided free weekends every weekend. Once she understood the real "failure," she got the right lesson: Keep the rules that had you lose the weight. You may want to check your assessment of why you failed with someone who can smartly "sniff" your logic.

Once you know the lesson, it's time to put in rules so you don't make the same mistakes. Every failure demands different actions as soon as possible. Rules really do diminish the chance of future failures. Now if you fail again in the same way, just know that you didn't learn the right lesson the first time. Whatever rules you put in place were not the right ones. Make your next honest adjustment to your actions and move on, wiser and now closer this time to succeeding.

Learn to respect and study your past failures. They will provide you with a deeper level of understanding who you are and what you need to change in your life. From each failure, if you surrender to it, own it, find the lesson and change your actions, you will get closer to achieving what you really want.