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Strong, Effective Leadership Is Better Than Weak, Ineffective Leadership

Leadership has been described as a process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task (Wikipedia).

To be a leader at the company or organization means to be a strong, effective, smart, all-round, ambitious person. Real leaders consistent with these features.

But there are a lot of weak, ineffective, selfish leaders, who want to manage subordinates, to asset their-self through staff.

Let's talk about the second ones - weak leaders. Such people try to find the weak link among his/her employees. He/she only sees different mistakes, negative results and so on. A weak employer wants to show himself/herself from the strong side, but it can be done for a long time.

How to identify - are you a strong leader or a weak leader?

1. The weak employer tries to know the whole situation at his/her company by himself. He/She knows everything because he/she tries to do much work by himself/herself. A strong leader, otherwise, delegates some of his rights and duties to his/her managers. He/she builds a team, which can support him/her with the right and clear information about every step of the company's movement.

2. Weak leaders are always busy. They don't have time to make a call, to think about company's future strategies. Why does it happen? The explanation is simple - you want to be everywhere, to do everything and you don't trust to your employees to make the most important tasks.

3. An effective employer looks for success in others. He/she realizes that employee is a person who can make mistakes. Such leaders try to focus on what has been done well. If something goes wrong he/she tries to solve a problem with employee together. The ineffective leader, conversely, sees only bad sides. He/she focuses on what has gone wrong. This type of employer wants to abase the employee, to show his/her superiority. Strong employers educate and respect their subordinates.

4. Weak employers interact with direct reports. Strong employers interact with his/her team to be a resource for them. Truly effective leaders are enough competent in any side of their business. The secret is that they manage their team in a productive way. They can be simple and discuss any employee's problem, and at the same time they can be like a peer listening to the reports.

So, there are two types of employers - weak and strong. What kind of leaders are you, and what are you to do to improve your leadership skills? Think about these questions and make the right decision.

Three Simple Steps to Make Your Leadership Development More Enjoyable

What gets into the way of the personal development of senior executives? Yes, of course, they themselves. But what specifically?

Leadership Development and Executive Coaching are some sort of adult learning. One might assume that the more senior - which often equals "older" - a person is, the less receptive to learning they might be. According to my observations as executive coach, that is not the case though.

Willingness to change or lack of intelligence is not an issue either. Executives who receive coaching are smart, ambitious, and ready to change. Overusing these strengths however is what gets into the way of their personal growth. Or more precisely: it makes the their own leadership development less enjoyable and more stressful.

The three major obstacles in the leadership development of executives are

• a lack of understanding what specifically needs to be developed
• a lack of understanding how learning processes really work, and
• a lack of measurement of progress.

The frustration starts with not knowing what needs to be developed, often referred to as the stage of unconscious incompetence: a manager wants to deliver better results, he/she wants the team to work more autonomously, or he/she may prepare to take the next career step - but he/she has not identified yet what exactly needs to be improved.

Tools like 360 degree feedbacks, stake holder interviews, or an MBTI assessment may easily give you the answer to what gaps need to be closed. Once people have understood what has been keeping them from being more successful, they have moved to the next stage of competence development: conscious incompetence. They know now what has been holding them back, and they understand what they have to do to improve. And so they also get to the next stage of frustration because their ambition gets into the way: once they know what needs to be done, they want change to happen instantly. That's good as far as motivation is concerned. However, lacking the understanding how learning processes work, the leadership development process turns out frustrating and tedious. Ambitious managers want to achieve perfection in a new skill overnight but this is just not going to happen.

Strangely though, everyone seems to accept that skill development in other areas need time: running a marathon, playing the piano, or learning a new language. But when it comes to leadership development, managers give in to the reality distortion field, and they want to change the whole world in a week. Or less.

It's amazing how adaptable we humans are - but we need to accept that any serious adaptation takes a considerable amount of time. Latest since Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers we know that "the magic number for true expertise (is) ten thousand hours."

Relax, you may not need 10,000 hours to get rid of an unproductive habit, improve your time management, or become better at motivation your team members. But you want to be patient and not set yourself up for unnecessary frustration along the way.

Patient now? OK, here's your third reason for frustration in your leadership development: you are not acknowledging your progress.

Have you ever been on a diet to lose weight? Then you have probably experienced that you were making daily incremental changes, too small for you to notice. Maybe you didn't see how your appearance changed until your pants were suddenly too wide, or an old pal who you hadn't met for a while told you how slim you suddenly were. (Sometimes we may very well hear the opposite comments though... )

The same applies for learning processes: if you don't measure your progress, you may not be aware of any progress at all. And thinking you're not making progress is frustrating.

I was working with one coaching client on time management and effectiveness at work. He only realized his tremendous progress once the time for the annual appraisal had come, and his boss rated him much higher than he had rated himself. What a nice surprise! But imagine how being aware of this progress earlier would have been so much more enjoyable and how it would have boosted his self-confidence. Constantly underestimating your own capabilities is not only frustrating; it may lead to unnecessary and unhealthy anxiety and self-doubts.

For people on a diet monitoring progress objectively is quite easy: they get on a balance on a daily basis. Monitoring your leadership skills may need a bit more creativity, but it's possible: think of KPIs that are linked to these skills or simply ask people for feedback.

In summary, here are three simple steps to make your personal growth much more enjoyable and rewarding:

1. Explore what gaps you need to close to take the next step. Very helpful tools for that are 360 degree feedbacks, stake holder interviews, or assessments like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. A confidant like a coach or mentor can help you plan specific development steps.
2. Accept that every learning process takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day. No one was born a master. Etc.
3. Measure progress objectively by monitoring KPIs or getting feedback from others regularly. Take one step at a time and acknowledge small wins.

Have fun learning!

What Leaders Can Learn From Beyonce Knowles

There is something to be said about great leadership. This past weekend was the Super Bowl. This is the national event where we mignons are allowed to witness the greatest of the great in football come together and beat each other to a pulp for a silver ball statute, a blingy ring, bragging rights, and general financial increase. This is also the same event where the masses are allowed to have a 15 minute mini-concert with some of the top names in show business. This year we had the opportunity to witness Beyonce Knowles as the half-time act.

You can argue all day long about why this was inappropriate. Yes, she is quite provocative for a blended audience. Yes, her songs are questionable and the lyrics are blatantly for all things sex. And, yes, she is known to wear barely any clothes. All those things aside, one thing cannot be denied. The woman is a performer and at the top of her craft.

Being that she has earned her way to be called one of the best performers ever, you have to wonder what it is that sets her apart. As I watch things strictly for pleasure or to be entertained, I always try to look at them from a "what lesson can I learn from this" or "how will this help me be a better anything". I did not watch the halftime show while it was live. As I said, the girl is provocative and I was with my family at a church. It would have been highly inappropriate to view it there.

Instead I caught the rebroadcast on YouTube. I try my best to study greatness in action and Beyonce happens to be one of the people I've taken a closer look into. On one of her many YouTube videos she gives an in depth look at the preparation that takes place for one of her shows. Just the amount of professionalism and dedication she exudes in the planning stages is enough to send most of us back to bed. Mind you, the actual practice for the show has not taken place yet. She's setting up the practice for the practice of the show. It's amazing how much she takes a part of the whole concept of her shows.

But, back to the Super Bowl half time show. As I suspected, her show was yet another example of leadership in practice. As I stated before, this woman is the top in her field. She is a performer in her own, confidant in her own abilities to sooth and persuade an audience into submission. Her dance moves alone can get a rise out of any teenage boy. Her lyrics can cause several babies to be conceived on the night of her concerts. In fact, her voice isn't all that bad either. So where was the leadership in this?

She decided with all of that ability to share her stage with two other women who would probably never be afforded the opportunity again. She decided to allow Kelly and Michelle to perform on stage with her at one of the most publicized arenas in the world. Destiny Child was back. All three ladies were on one stage with the slew of backup dancers doing their thing. The move was absolutely brilliant and demonstrative of the highest form of leadership: humility.

Does Beyonce need help singing? No. Does she need help dancing? No. Does she need help commanding a crowd? No. Do the other ladies have stronger voices than her? No. What does she have to gain from allowing the other ladies to perform with her on "her" stage? Nothing. But yet she did it. If you can't see the leadership in that, I beg you to take a closer look.

I aspire to be that type of leader. Beyonce's act showed that she is confidant in her abilities in her field and that she is not intimidated by allowing other people to share her spotlight. She knows that she is the center piece and that there is no harm in letting other people get a taste and feel of what she does and how she does it. Kelly and Michelle will more than likely never perform in front of a crowd like that again. While they both pursued independent careers outside of Destiny's Child, they never achieved the success the group had as solo artists. This was probably their last chance to perform at this level. Beyonce, on the other hand, may very well just be getting started.

What can you and I learn from this? When we are in leadership positions we have to be secure in our positions as leaders. We have to know that we are trained and equipped to do our job, no matter how talented the next person may be. We have to be confident that we can do the job alone if need be, but prefer to lend a helping hand and give someone else a shot. Leaders have to able to perform under pressure flawlessly and give actionable steps, i.e. dance moves, that others can follow or imitate. We have to know how to delegate tasks or lyrics to the supporting people. We have to also be willing to stand out in front and put our names on the line no matter the outcome, good or bad.

Leadership can be tricky and complicated only if we allow it to be. Most of the time we as leaders know how we should act and what we should be doing. If you're a leader, it's because you have an innate leadership ability that others see in you. We can still learn from other leaders. This weekend I chose to learn from Beyonce. I'd encourage you to do the same.

True Leaders Redifined Success

As a reader of my musings, you would know my definition of Leadership. Please refer to the bottom of this page to refresh yourself.

Consciously or subconsciously, most people will refer to success in terms of money, winning or corporate hierarchical achievement. In any case, it refers to making more or being more in reference to others.

I believe, this emanates from a human condition of less-than, of inadequacy, fear and shame that puts us on a never ending path of futility, chasing that which will not bring us true happiness. True success, I believe is being the best of who we can be in those areas of our passions and essence, when we are in our element. Somebody defined success as "wanting what I already have!"

When we use externals as measures for success, all we are doing is punishing ourselves be establishing success criteria that refer us to third-parties, a formula for unhappiness. If the measure of success is money, then if we do not have enough, we have failed, and how much is enough anyway. If the next promotion is the measure of our success, then, if a third party chooses not to promote us, we are placing the measure of success in the hands of another. If we define success as winning a race, then there are endless permutations that will give us, or not, the result we expect, and so, again, we place our success in the hands of others or third party conditions.

Now, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with money, winning or corporate achievement. However, if we link success (and happiness) to these outcomes, then we are handicapping ourselves.

Leadership comes from deep within us. It is the externalising of that gift that we were born to be. It is that childlike energy that does not fear or even understand the concept of being shamed or being ridiculed. It is based on self-respect and the respect of the opinion of others but that does not allow the opinion of others to conclude that by conclusion we are wrong.

It is also that confidence that allows us to accept 3rd party opinions of us and is able to dispassionately take from it that which serves us and discount the rest.

A true leader, motivates themselves and others by expecting the best of themselves and others and creates environments where mistakes are a positive element of progress. They do not pejoratively compare and understand that the richness of the differences are what makes their environment an enjoyable success.

In our definition, Leaders are those that create Leaders and Leadership starts with one owning the responsibility of taking a Lead in their own life! Whether you know it or not, you are a Leader! Leaders exist in all walks of life. They are mothers, CEOs, volunteers, spiritualists, care-givers, receptionists, and the list goes on. However not all these role players are Leaders. http://www.aldogrech.com

7 Reasons Why Character Trumps Strategy

Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy: Norman Schwarzkopf.

In any sphere of life, leadership is as essential as it is fragile. Essential because without good leadership people do not produce their best; fragile because the best leader can lose their mantle of leadership quickly if they fail to understand and follow some simple, yet profound principles.

The marriage of character and strategy is critical in the delivery of leadership in any situation, yet the role of character in this union is often misunderstood or under-emphasized.

Here are seven reasons why.

1. People won't follow leaders who lack character - When leaders at any level demonstrate poor intentions, decisions or worst of all, values, it comes as no surprise that their teams develop an instinctive reluctance to follow them. Like walking out onto thin ice, people treat such lack of character with great caution and usually pull back; emotionally and psychologically if not practically. Alternatively, the leader prepared and willing to precede their teams actions by first walking out onto the ice will inevitably gain respect, and a willingness from their team to follow.


2. People don't trust leaders who lack character - However a leader may view their followers responses, the reality is that people watch their leader closely; they carefully canvas and review the leaders track record on matters of performance, judgment and most of all character. People learn instinctively and quickly whether to trust their superiors; and the adage that trust takes a lifetime to gain but moments to lose is relevant here. When a leader sees fit to behave without integrity, their followers immediately lose trust in them; if a leader is dishonest or demonstrates a lack of truthfulness with a client, why should I trust them, are they being honest with me?


3. People won't respect leaders who lack character - If the greatest attribute of a leader is to command respect, not demand it, then one of the greatest privileges of a follower is to respect them and hold them up as role model. Leaders who lack character inevitably find that their followers won't respect them, nor seek to emulate them or use them as a role model; their followers won't take pride in the fact of serving or even being associated with the leader in question. A leader who lives a life of integrity earns the right to be respected, imitated and their followers loyalty is among their greatest assets.


4. People don't feel safe with leaders who lack character - Leaders who lack character never achieve a dynamic where their team feels completely safe around them; safe with their judgment, decisions and concern for the team. When followers are unsure about their leaders character or ethos, they can never be quite sure how their leader will act, or respond; never be fully confident in them; never be willing to be fully transparent with them and never, ever willing to expose their flaws to them; for they will always sense insecurity and possibly feel threatened, and even intimidated. Leaders whose character is proven find that their teams feel safe around them and will subsequently demonstrate absolute confidence in their leadership.


5. People won't give their best to leaders who lack character - When followers are confronted by a leader whose character is in question they inevitably won't give their best; the whole team or organizations potential is compromised. In this paradigm people feel demoralized and discouraged; why bother, there's no point, I'm not appreciated are common responses. Yet when a leader shows his or her character, their colours to the team whether in good times, or even better, in bad times, the team naturally determines to give it all, to do whatever it takes (ethically) to achieve the goals of the organization.


6. People don't see a future for leaders who lack character - When leaders fail to demonstrate character their team cannot see a positive way forward. They can't visualize a healthy future for the leader and so distrust and uncertainty creep in. Once this happens it is like the analogy of the stick of chalk dipped in ink; the irreparable damage is done; usually cannot be undone and the future is sealed for the leader. Followers will often die for a cause or a leader but once the leader reveals poor character the bond of trust is destroyed and is unlikely to be restored; such is the utter imperative for a leader to be vigilant regarding their character. People who lose faith in a leaders character will always struggle to have faith in the leaders cause; the constant thought will be we are always only one step, one bad decision away from failure or disaster.


7. People won't risk their future with leaders who lack character - Ultimately, the principle of what's in it for me will come into play when followers consider their leaders character and integrity. For people who have invested heavily, possibly for a lifetime, into their personal career and future, the thought of allying themselves to and supporting a leader without character is usually too much to bear. Figuratively, and sometimes practically, people will give their life for a leader who gains their trust and respect, yet will not give the time of day to one who demonstrates poor character.

To optimize the performance of any team or organization character and strategy should co-exist, with each bringing its unique elements of success to the equation. Of the two, character stands pre-eminent as the single most powerful quality of a team and its leader. For without it, the crucial elements of confidence, commitment, enthusiasm and sacrifice are absent; and by default, success is also absent.

Author Neil Findlay

What Is Genuine Leadership?

There are many references to real or true leaders, but what exactly are the components of genuine leadership? Being a genuine leader means far more than merely being a leader or even being an authentic leader. Genuine leadership is a combination of all the needed positive traits and qualities of real or true leaders, a sense of authenticity, having the self - confidence and ability to expose one's frailties and weaknesses as one's strengths and assets, having a genuine well - intentioned passion for what he is doing (and knowing why he is motivated to do so), caring for the organization's mission and what it means, the desire to provide value to others, true and unyielding commitment, absolute integrity, and a vital vision that kindles a never - ending desire to go beyond the ordinary to strive to be extraordinary. Genuine leaders never settle, and never run away from an issue when others are afraid or unwilling to address it.

1. A genuine leader behaves the same as a leader that he does under all other circumstances. One cannot turn on and off the genuine button, but must adhere to a strict code of behaving, saying, and otherwise communicating a genuine message to others that portrays how one really feels. In order to be genuine, you must be yourself under all conditions, situations and circumstances. There is never any place for phoniness, pretense, or less than full disclosure. This type of leader communicates his true thoughts, ideas and concerns to others, and has a real feeling and caring for the needs, and well being of all his constituents. He never lets any type of personal agenda or self enhancement enter into his thought processes, and dedicates himself to fully address any and all issues that do, or may impact his group.

2. One can't be this type of leader unless his personal vision is so personally motivating and essential that it propels him constantly and relentlessly forward. He never permits himself to settle, or to compromise his ideals. He effectively listens, and truly cares what others say, although he must be willing to address issues directly and never simply agree. He must always keep his word, both to himself as well as to others, never forgetting the reason that his leadership is needed. He understands that leaders serve others, and are not there to be served by others. He must be thick skinned, and must not be easily offended by criticism or complaints. A genuine leader places what is important and meaningful ahead of gratifying his ego!

Every organization should strive to attract genuine leaders. Although these individuals are rare, when a group is fortunate enough to find one, he should be cherished as a rare treasure.

Discover The Secrets Of Likeability And Authenticity In Business Coaching

Don't Shut People Out

In leadership, you need to have influence. You can do so by being likable. What makes likeable people the way they are? Two things- they're charming and they're genuine. With remarkably likeable people around, the whole room can lit up with a lot of smiles.

You might not have the Mr. or Miss Popularity savvy for now, and you're shy, basically. You grapple for words to say after the "how do you do" moment when you meet someone. How do you make a good impression then? Here are some cues from extraordinarily charismatic leaders.

Set aside all sense of self- importance. Unflattering cockiness or arrogance repels people. Your parents might have told you to stand tall and proud, but it could exude superiority, and it shuts people out. Lose the power pose. Great leaders like Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton avoid the "come to me" power move by making steps forward with a smile and slightly bending forward, as if giving a bow.

Showing a sign of deference and respect is apt to elicit the same from others. We usually like people who like us, don't we?

Use The Power Of Touch

(Non sexual) touch is powerful. Embrace the power of touch because it can effectually influence behavior. Is there are reluctant or underconfident member in your team? An encouraging pat on his/her shoulder can boost their confidence and increase their chances of compliance. A leader who uses the power of touch also seems more friendly and attractive.

However, make the "touch" casual and non- threatening. Go easy with a light pat on the upper arm or the shoulder. Bill Clinton's "power touch" comes with a right-handshake and a left-hand touch combined with a genial posture and smile.

Whatever (perceived) barrier or distance between people is dissolved by a genuine touch. The power of touch is therefore a key component in liking and being liked.

Be A Social Jiu Jitsu Master

Learn the ancient art of social Jiu- Jitsu. It's a skill of getting the other person to talk about themselves. It sounds complicated, but the gist of SJJ is actually being interested and polite mingled with social graces. Don't be afraid to lose either; and in the first place, don't even think that you're in a "getting to know you" competition. Let them be better than you, and you need an ample amount of confidence to be able to do so.

Leadership that is kind, gracious and respectful leaves a good impression on people, and in return garners respect and likeability, ultimately increasing your influence. Elegant courage leadership is responding honestly to the situation, a kind of authenticity that makes its mark.

What I Learned on Leadership From Raising My Wire Fox Terrier

Throughout my formative years, I have constantly tried to improve the results of my leadership into generating more value and driving more productive and motivated teams. Having had the opportunity of being responsible for people earlier than most, one of my primary struggles had to do with how to exercise assertiveness over individuals twenty (and even thirty) years my seniors. Whilst the hierarchical structure may help, to a point, the fact is that leadership has very little to do with titles or organisational structures.

And then, I faced a life-changing event: I brought home a small puppy from rescue and realised I was making all the same mistakes raising him as I was doing with managing my teams. Now, I don't mean (under any form or manner) that the exercises are similar (in scope, goals or content). What I do mean is that there was a lot I learnt about Leadership whilst making mistakes in raising my energetic, bright and opinionated fox terrier.

And here's what it was down at:

1. Never underestimate your followers: I can never fool my dog. The energy that I transmit when I take him out is directly inherited from me. If I'm calm, he's calm. If I'm jumpy and nervous, he's jumpy and nervous. I understood that, as Leader of the Pack, it was me who I had to change first. I needed to be in a calm and assertive state of mind so Spikey, my dear puppy, acknowledged my leadership and wasn't put on the uncomfortable situation of having to make decisions without the proper level of information - like if he should, or not, chase a car or pee in a tire. It's my posture and attitude that defines the posture of my team and the relationship they have with me, not the position on my business card.


2. Establish communication lines and manage expectations: At a blank state, my dog had no idea what I wanted from him. He knew he might like me, I knew I might like him, but it took weeks of effort and constant communication for us to start understanding each other. It took daily feedback, from me to him, asserting what I need from him. And, by understanding that he could communicate back, we started having a relationship where he could show me what he wanted, needed or felt like. When the information didn't come from me, he often took it from the wrong places - he developed an obsession with chewing shoes because he saw it as an acceptable behaviour from fellow dogs. Once we had a healthy level of communication, he understood what I need from him and I understand what he needs from me and we coexist happily.


3. Positive reinforcement works: My dog is a Fox Terrier, he's bright, energetic and stubborn by nature. My initial strategy of managing his behaviour through showing him what not to do (very often, after he did it) was failing dramatically. He kept on repeating unacceptable behaviours and I could see he wasn't understanding what he needed from me. Once I change my posture to show him what was the expected behaviour, and praised him for it, he learned and he became much more motivated and relaxed.


4. His needs are more important than mine. Always.: Despite the fact that I too have needs, apart from my relationship with Spikey, I have to understand that I have a deep responsibility for him. If I decide, on a Saturday, that I might sleep over a couple of hours more, I'm failing him and he acknowledges that immediately. If I don't have dinner Tuesday, it's OK, but my dog cannot, under any perspective, not have dinner. In a similar fashion, once you have the opportunity of accepting a role where you have responsibility for people you should, before anything else, define your priorities. From the moment you start, your priority is your team, independently of the level of effort you need to conduct to establish that energy level. My relationship with my dog is the same relationship I have with my teams: I am there for them, and they react accordingly.


5. Exercise, discipline and fun, in that order: I know that for my dog to be happy I need to provide him with a set of basic conditions. I learnt that the hard way. The first condition is exercise, if he isn't challenged, he doesn't focus. If there is not outlet for all his creative (and destructive, at times) energy, that will build up and he'll lose focus. And I constantly need to come up with new ways of challenging them and monitoring him for his level of motivation and morale. All of that must come on a framework of rules that I defined with him. And I learnt over time that he's happier when we coexist under a set of rules. Fun is, more often than not, my last priority (but not the least important). I always need to find time for us to have fun, it's the only way I know that he'll will get back home satisfied.

As responsible for a set of people, as with my dog, my most relevant lesson was that we're only productive if I manage to provide the right amount of stimulus, challenges, fun while ensuring that all the context of our relationship has a strict set of rules specifically designed to enhance our relationship. And that made all the difference.

It took time to learn, a considerable amount of attempts, lots of practice and lots of errors, both with developing my leadership capabilities and ensuring a happy coexistence with my dog but, ultimately, the experience I got from the jump in the dark that was to take home another life (when I was, very likely, unprepared for that) ultimately allowed me to understand the important of my energy, posture and stance towards whom I'm responsible for.

And, most importantly than anything else, I understood that it's me who has to change to ensure that we are successful.

On Becoming A Good (Near-Perfect) CEO

CEO is an abbreviation for Chief Executive Officer and according to Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary, New 8th Edition (2010), he is the person with the highest rank in a business company. For purpose of this article, the description of "he" covers both man and woman.

In order for him to be a good CEO, he is the person who is worth listening to, worth believing & worth to be followed. In addition, he should demonstrate the following virtues: a leadership attitude; leadership skills; and a leadership image.

Let us go a bit further to elaborate on what entails the above scenarios.

WORTH LISTENING TO

He should make time to pay attention to what the people in his group have to say. Listening to them is one way to keep their morale up, which is one of the success factors in business. Productivity normally goes down when the staff morale is low.

It must be remembered that a rigid person will turn the people away from him. We call this situation as avoidance. Flexibility and listening without prejudice are some of the ways in gaining the confidence of those under his care.

WORTH BELIEVING AND WORTH TO BE FOLLOWED

In simple words, he does what he preaches. It is as simple as that, nothing more and nothing less. He tells the truth and shares important information with his people, except those of company's confidential matters. If you believe in your CEO, certainly it is worthwhile for you to follow him.

This type of person smiles a lot, allows his staff to make genuine mistakes and respect his people's religious beliefs / faith.

A LEADERSHIP ATTITUDE

He is good in terms of interpersonal skills, for he believes in seeking mutual benefit when interacting with his workforce. He shows respect and appreciation to his people and likes to create a "win-win" situation at his workplace.

He dares to take calculated risks, after consultations with his subordinates, whenever a business situation requires him to decide and execute. He looks at his staff as a whole person, not just the end of the year performance appraisal.

LEADERSHIP SKILLS

Different writers and authors will list down the leadership skills as either quite similar or different from one another. Here, two examples - communication skill and negotiation skill, will suffice to illustrate the point.

Communication skill

When a staff gives an idea, either during a meeting or face-to-face discussion, a good CEO will say: "That's a good idea, we can try it here"; rather than saying, "It won't work in this company", thus demoralizing the staff.

Therefore, it is safe to say that good communication skill is one of the building blocks of being an effective leader.

Negotiation skill

It is a general understanding in business environment that in any negotiation, the parties involved should come to the negotiation table with an open mind. Do not be too rigid such that nothing can be accomplished. A good negotiation exercise will end with all the parties involved thinking that they've the bigger slice of the cake.

If the above skills - communication and negotiation are mastered properly, the other leadership skills will just follow, sooner or later.

A LEADERSHIP IMAGE

A good CEO exhibits a clean personal image and a good family man. He is not involved in any sort of perceived corrupted practices or is ever linked to any scandal. He is the person whom you can trust.

We do not have to attend specific human relations courses at Cambridge or Harvard just to recognize that a good CEO must exhibit a clean image in order for him to lead his people and organization.

43 Body Language Tips (Special Report)

According to a research, 93% of the impression you leave on people is based on your body language, and 7% of the impression is based on what you say.

The extra-ordinary elite people naturally attract others. They keep others interested in them with the power of their body language. Elite people know very well that the words that come out of mouth aren't virtually as valuable as body language. And, others unconsciously make tons of urgent guesses about you within the first few seconds of meeting.

That's why elite people build attraction rapidly. They know very well that body language and attraction is not only about standing straight or steady eye contact.

"It's all about connecting to people within a few minutes of meeting them."

If you want to be an 'Elite Person' then you need to connect to people with the power of your body language. Because, if there isn't any connection, then there isn't any attraction.

So, how to connect with people like an elite person with the power of your body language? I've arranged 43 body language tips for you that will help you to attract others and create a hypnotic impact on them.

1. Nod Your Head

Keep nodding your head slowly while talking to others. It helps others calm down and show understanding. People want to feel 'IMPORTANT'. When you nod your head while listening, it not only makes them feel important but also connected to you. It's literally the quickest way to connect with others... without even saying a single word.

Moreover, you can also lightly 'Rub your Chin' while listening. This bright gesture displays that the listener is focused on every word you are saying.

2. Authoritative Gaze

What is the secret of Elite Leaders? Why they always look so commanding? Well, it is because they use Business/Authoritative Gaze. If you want to be 'AUTHORITATIVE' and 'IMPORTANT' then use the Authoritative Gaze.

What is Authoritative gaze?

The person whose eye level is highest is mostly considered as the leader. "Keep your line of vision in the area from the eyes to the mid-forehead". Elite people and leaders use this authoritative gaze in order to put themselves in a clear position of the Authority. That's why people always give them special attention and respect.

In a group, successful leaders and entrepreneurs must use this authoritative gaze for proving their 'Elite Status'.

3. Running Your Fingers Through Your Hair

People commonly run their fingers through their hair when they don't know what to say. The viewer who can study body-language knows the person is lacking in confidence. And, he doesn't know what to do or say next. So, always avoid running your fingers through their hairs - especially in business meetings, or in social gatherings.

Playing with your hair is completely different. In dating, it's a sign of flirt and attraction.

4. I Can't Believe

Holding both hands behind the back of your neck while pointing your elbows forward shows that you are feeling down, or you can't believe in the current situation. You can easily notice this gesture on sports channels, or during some match.

5. Know-It-All

Touching your fingertips during a conversation means a person is confident that he knows much about the topic which he is discussing.

You can see many celebrities using this gesture in talk shows. Business owners often use this gesture during meetings while discussing tough matters.

6. I'm Blue

Walking with your hands in pockets makes you look dejected. A person usually does this when he is depressed, unhappy or sad about something.

7. Stroking chin - "I'm judging you"

You can generally find people stroking their chins with their fingers while talking. It means they are trying to judge the other person, or what the other person is saying. Also, stroking chin generally means that a person is trying to make a decision on something.

8. Point of Aggression

Pointing fingers at the person you are talking to shows the sign of aggression. So, never use this gesture, especially in front of your friends and family members. This shows your weak side and puts you in a negative frame.

9. Tone of Your Voice

This is a very useful tool to judge others. If someone considers you as their equal, their tone will be normal in front of you, neither too high nor too low. But, if someone's voice tone is higher than usual, it means they are trying to dominate you at the moment.

10. Mirroring Actions

It is a common gesture. If you notice someone mirroring your actions, it means they are trying to impress you and build the rapport. If you feel someone's mirroring your actions, then you can confirm it by changing your body positions, and gestures, deliberately.

11. I'm thinking of You

When people look upwards on the left side, it is likely that they are thinking about you, or thinking about the past, or trying to remember something important.

12. Pulling The Ear - "What to do?"

If you find someone pulling his ear, it is most likely he is doubtful or uncertain about something.

13. There's Something Fishy

When someone unusual touches his nose or slightly rubs it, that person might be having doubts about something. Also, there is a strong chance that he is lying to you... Watch out next time if you catch someone doing it.

14. I'm Not Interested

If you find someone playing with his cell, pen, paper or anything while you are talking to him, it means he is not interested in whatever you are saying, or he is trying to avoid you. Moreover, playing with any object, or just moving your hands, shows the sign of a careless attitude... You should avoid this gesture at any cost. Because, it presents you as an unfriendly person.

15. Make Me Smile

Have you ever noticed that when you give someone a smile, he usually smiles back at you? According to psychologists, it happens because we subconsciously imitate those things which we see. When we look at someone and give him a smile, he tends to smile too... This is a very useful and effective gesture that can compel others to notice you in a positive light.

16. I'm Frustrated Now

Whenever you see someone running fingers through his hair, you should know, he is frustrated about something... You should also avoid this gesture. It gives away signs of your frustration, and it waters down your positive aura.

17. I Can't Believe It

A person looks down, or just turns his face away, when he's in disbelief. Look for this gesture during conversations, and you'll know where you should press your point more clearly & strongly.

18. Winning The Audience

People usually start rubbing their palms, or both of their hands, when they anticipate something. If you see people doing this gesture, it probably means they are interested in whatever you're going to show them, and you are winning your audience.

19. Keep Your Drinks Low

When having a drink with someone, don't hold it in front of your body. Instead, hold it beside your leg. Keeping anything in front of your body increases the psychological distance between you and the person in contact. And, others don't feel connected with you on a deeper level.

20. I Feel Fine With You

Use hand gestures which keep your palms up most of the times. This gesture demonstrates your openness and friendliness. People believe in your words, and feel good around you.

21. You Are Making It Interesting

During a conversation with someone, if you notice him leaning in towards you, it indicates that you have successfully triggered his interest level in you.

22. I Can Understand What You Are Saying

When listening to someone, try to nod with your head and eyes at the strong points. This silent gesture shows others that you are listening actively and you understand very well that what they are trying to deliver. You mostly use this gesture when you have not utterly agreed with others, but you still think that some points are agreeable.

23. I'm The Champ

Keeping your hands clasped behind your head and "crossing your legs" indicates that a person is feeling superior in the current situation. People tend to make this posture when they complete a hard task or finish their assignment before others.

24. Avoid Multitasking

Avoid multitasking. It's bad. It shows that you have a complex personality. So, instead, handle one thing at a time and focus on your target like a guided missile. It not only saves your times, but also keeps a positive energy around you.

25. Lion's Eye

Keep your eyes focused while talking to someone. Looking here and there without maintaining focus can give people the feeling that you are being dishonest or uncomfortable.

26. Don't Stand Too Close

Standing too close to someone makes them feel uncomfortable. You should maintain a gap of at least 4 feet. Now, of course, you can, and you should, cross this boundary when you are with your good friends, or with your lover.

27. Won't Let You Get Over Me

Keeping your palms down all the time gives away the signs of dominance and aggression. You should choose wisely when to keep them down and when to keep them up.

28. Leave Me Alone

Looking down and keeping your head low shows your lack of interest. Some people perceive it as a sign of arrogance too. Keep your head straight and maintain eye contact with people around you.

29. Toffee Eyes

High blinking rate is a sign of nervousness. People's rate of eye blinking increases when they are anxious about something. Stay calm and try to slow down your eye blinking rate, especially when you start to feel nervous... When you blink your eyes quickly with nervousness, it shows that you have toffee eyes, and you are so uncomfortable.

30. I'm About to Suicide

Sitting on the edge of your chair is a clear sign which displays physical and mental uneasiness. It makes others around you feel a bit uncomfortable as well.

31. I Want to Quit This Conversation

If you are having a conversation with someone, don't shift your body weight from one foot to another for more than once in every 2 to 3 minutes. You can make people think you want to end the conversation.

32. I Like You

One gesture which is a signal of genuine likeness is smiling with a tilted head. If you notice someone making this gesture while talking to you, it means they really like you, and they are happily engaged in conversation with you.

33. Touch Me

Look out for your partner's gestures when you're with them. If you see them touching their neck or thighs while looking at you, it means they want you to initiate some sexual move.

34. Quit Ninja Style

Taking small steps while walking. It water downs your personality. It shows that you are not a confident person... Confident people do not take small steps. Instead, they take large steps to look confident and authoritative.

35. Warm Palms

We all know that a firm handshake is very important for a good first impression. But, when you have warm palms, you add enthusiasm in your handshake... Handshake with cold palms often radiates negative & cold impression of you. That's why, try to keep your palms warm, especially when you are in some important social gathering.

36. I'm On Guard

You simply can't socialize if you are crossing your arms in front of your chest. It emits negative energy. It makes you look reserved.

37. Grooming Properly

Confident body language comes from a properly groomed body. If you've brushed your teeth, worn perfect clothes and groomed yourself properly, you'll automatically walk and talk confidently, and act like an elite person.

38. Dress For Your Tone

Elite people never look out of place. They fit themselves in the situation through their dress tone. They adjust their clothing according to the occasion. And, that's one of the reasons why they look so charismatic.

39. Slow Down A Bit

Don't make your movements too fast, it makes you look nervous. Take control of your body, you have to slow down your body movements in order to be noticed. Slow body movements show your strength.

40. Learn From Heroes

You cannot simply research and start making good gestures perfectly; you need to learn some of them practically too. Try observing the body language of your favorite heroes. If you want to act like a president, watch the videos, and speeches, of your favorite president. If you want to look like a vampire, watch the movies about vampires and notice their body language.

This way helps you to decide how you want to appear in the eyes of others.

41. Use Their Names

Dale Carnegie, a famous author, once said "The sweetest sound to a person's ear is their own name." So, use people's names while talking to them. It doesn't count in body language but it boosts your overall body language power and bring charm to your personality.

42. The Magic Touch

It is a difficult thing to master, but it can bring extremely powerful results. The key touching areas are upper arm, shoulders and hands. Try to give perfectly timed touches with your fingertips on these key areas while talking to others. Your touch should be light and brief. This builds familiarity, and others feel closest to you.

43. Directions Show Attraction

"Body points to where the mind wants to go." Look for people's feet and their knees. Because, we tend to point our feet and knees towards those we are attracted to.

Beware Of Getting Too Friendly With Staff

One of the most commonly witnessed errors committed by most individuals in positions of leadership, especially volunteer leadership, is that they try to befriend the paid staff. Rather than viewing the relationship as strictly a business one, they often treat the staff as friends rather than employees. While a business owner rarely errs in such a manner, and generally prioritizes effective performance, etc., volunteer leaders often blur that line which should be distinct. While paid staff should always be treated with kindness and respect, a volunteer leader must remember that these individuals are employees hired to do a specific job or jobs. When the employee / friend line is blurred, it often creates a situation where staff members perform at far less than optimal levels, often being permitted to continue that way for many years. Since volunteer leaders only serve for finite terms, paid staff members generally are employed for considerably longer periods of times, and often have more insight and valuable information regarding an organization. While that complicates the situation, it is still necessary for a volunteer leader to maintain his or her objectivity.

1. For well over three decades, I have worked with and consulted to over a thousand individuals in positions of leadership. In far too many instances, an individual who enters into a leadership position, at least publicly, befriends the staff. While it is smart to be friendly, it not smart to befriend. Making matters even more crucial, it is often these same organization leaders that must make employment - related decisions regarding the staff. These decisions often include renewing a contract, pay levels, duties, responsibilities and expectations. Rarely have I witnessed a new leader sit down immediately upon his ascending to his position, and having real discussions with staff. Few new leaders fully realize what each staff member does, how much time each project takes, the degree of duplication, or even the actual level of talent. Leaders should contact sit - downs like they would an interview, in order to better understand how a particular employee fits in, is needed, and is utilized. Does an organization need the number of staff that it has, or does it need either more or less? What is the staff's morale, and how do they feel about the organization? How does staff interact with leadership?

2. Perhaps the most disturbing aspect that I have witnessed is the frequency that a member of leadership complains privately about a staff member or members, but then publicly continuously applauds their performance. While it is classy, appropriate, proper and the right thing to do, to compliment good work, and to motivate staff, leaders must understand that excessive public lauding (especially when it is excessive, untrue, exaggerated or uncalled for) generally creates a staff evaluation nightmare. How can a valuable critique be given when there has not been a discussion of performance, expectations, or areas of needed improvement at previous points? Organizations often find themselves backed into a corner, and often keep the wrong staff members, or overpay for them, because those in positions of leadership wanted to be the good guys or pals, and refused to handle this essential aspect of staff leadership and oversight.

Organizations utilize paid staff in order to let them either provide services or implement projects or programs. Just as in the for - profit business sector, effective leaders must treat staff as employees and indicate what they expect and how an individual must perform.

Lessons on Moving People Forward

I just finished Daniel Pink's latest book To Sell is Human. In this excellent, insightful material is just the right amount of stories, studies, and easy to remember principles. If you're not a reader or your reading list is already stacked to the ceiling, the next articles I write will give you a good overview of the main principles and practices he gives. If you are not in sales (he points out that 1 out of every 9 workers in the U.S. is directly involved in sales and it is approximately that if not higher in other countries), you will still gain great benefit from it because it covers so many important issues in communicating ideas, helping people, better listening, and other skills that will help everyone. Especially people who want to make a difference in the world through their lives, businesses, and ministries.

As a matter of fact, he starts out the book making that exact point. Everyone needs to learn how to communicate their ideas well if they really want to help people. If you believe what you are offering is important, and I hope you do, then learning how people respond and how to communicate is really important. Mr. Pink rightly makes the case that even people who are not working directly in sales spend a great deal of time trying to influence, move, and persuade others in order to help them. From teachers to doctors to parents to counselors, just about everyone is trying to communicate in a way that helps people move in a positive direction.

If you have a negative picture in your mind of sales, you are not alone. Surveys indicate that the second lowest ranking profession in American society are politicians with the lowest being used car salesmen. Many people associate words like "pushy, dishonest, manipulative, self-serving, and cold-hearted" with sales people. Pink makes the point that in the past, that was sometimes the case, but in today's cultural climate those tactics do not work well anymore. Because today, information is so available and how people act (good or bad) is so quickly and easily broadcast, pushy, dishonest sales tactics are not as easily rewarded.

I'll give you more powerful insights the next few times but here are a few to get you started:

According to Gallup Polls:

1. People spend an average of 40% of their work day involved in non-sales selling: persuasion, communication, etc.
2. People consider this aspect crucial to their professional success.
3. More and more people are getting involved in entrepreneurship and that means learning to share ideas and sell.

He includes several studies, polls, and comments from top business experts and forecasters showing clearly that the number of micro-businesses and solo-businesses will do nothing but increase over the next years. According to Harvard University labor economist Lawrence Katz middle-class employment of the future won't be people working for large corporations but rather "self-sufficient artisans."

More to come next time, but the encouraging news for those of us who don't consider themselves natural salesmen is you can be very successful in presenting ideas and helping people move forward by learning some key principles and practices.

I would love to know what you think?

The Most Obvious, Yet Crucial, "Thing" Overlooked in Leadership

If you're familiar at all with my work or my stance, you'll know that I'm a stand for leadership and that I get to work with super innovative companies and biz leaders to help hem create more effective leadership and impact in the world.

You'll also know that, in my book, words like "self-care", "energy", "presence", and "authenticity" go hand-in-hand with all things leadership.

When you see this, you're likely to:

1. Glaze over these words, and take them for granted - "Why of course!" Or,
2. Pause, if just for a millisecond with a quiet thought leaning to connect "What are 'self-care' and 'energy' are doing in the same sentence as leadership?" Or,
3. Think it's woo-woo or extraneous... "Geesh! No time for that stuff, I've got a business to lead! Woo woo is for the weary." (Or whatever your version of this might be.) Or,
4. Have this hit you in a whole new way, with a whole new meaning, and impact on your very leadership soul.

If I had to vote, I'd have you in the #1, #2, or #4 camp... and if not, totally cool, let's take a walk...

TRY THIS ON...

Your quality of self-care and energy is directly proportional to your quality of, and potential for, fabulous leadership.

After doing this work in many capacities for over 23 years, working with anyone (from athletes, CEOs, and project teams, to moms and dads), and anywhere (from on the field, in the board room, in the project room, or in the living room)... here's what I find over and over again:

Our quality of self-care is a reflection of our connection to, and relationship with, ourselves. It is also directly proportional to the level of energy, clarity, and personal awareness and congruency we create internally. And this is all directly proportional to the amount of trust and credibility and clarity we create externally with those we lead.

And this is not just self-care in the way you might think. It's not just about eating right or exercising or getting your zzz's... it's about leading ourselves right in all things "care". Taking care of ourselves - in every way, mind, body and spirit - so that we can take care of, and engage with, others even more powerfully.

STORY TIME: HERE'S HOW THIS PLAYS OUT IN THE REAL WORLD...

Julie* is a CEO, she's brilliant. She's created a fabulous company and a great team to lead it. Her intentions are fantastic. Her heart and business mind is totally in the right spot. Yet her team experiences her as a weak leader; chaotic, not present, rash, emotional, and inconsistent in her decision making (which creates more work for everyone on the back end). Why? She's brilliant. Truly. She's one of the smartest people you'll ever meet. She even has the MBA from a hotshot school, and a business history that makes all the other leaders jealous. So why does her team experience her as a weak leader? They like her. They're happy to work for/with her. But they don't totally trust her. They can't fully count on her direction. And in some cases, they even feel bad for her. (Ouch.) How does someone so amazing, have such incongruent impact?

Here's how... It's simple actually and all centers around what's happening for "Julie" inside. At its most basic level, she is not creating the space to take care of herself. Physically, she eats on the run and the food is sub-par (which does not support her physical energy or brain chemistry to create presence and best thinking). Mentally, she's always on the go with her mind four steps ahead or four steps behind. There's no time to just sit, reflect, and make thoughtful aligned decisions that will serve the company and the team... everything is a "fire". Emotionally, she's hard on herself. She feels the pressure, she gets that her impact is not always what she'd like. The resulting self-talk does nothing to nurture her or her spirit. Spiritually, because she moves so fast and doesn't create intentional space for herself, she's not connected to self in a way that creates a strong presence that can be felt to the people around her. Additionally, this lack of internal space and connection leaves her less in touch with how she really feels about things, and less in touch with her intuition, hence the rash and inconsistent decision making. Ripple, ripple, ripple...

All of these things together impact the way her team experiences her, and result in the behaviors she defaults to, creating a lack of trust and respect.

Bottom line: Her level of self-care is not lined up with what a brilliant woman leading a multimillion dollar venture needs to be. (The pressure of this, by the way, just adds to the chaos.)

All of this could be remedied with a bit of intentional self-care. A bit of intentional space to "get in front of things". A bit of space to breathe. And none of it would take a lot of time. Truly.

Do you recognize "Julie"? On your team, in your organization, in yourself?*

SELF-CARE -> SELF-CONNECTION -> LEADERSHIP PRESENCE & IMPACT

Yes, the way we care for ourselves, and set ourselves up for success from the inside out, has a direct impact on how we support and influence and lead others.

Put in other ways, let's try three, follow the yellow brick road and see which one resonates most for you, then plug in:

• How you care for yourself impacts how you feel inside which impacts how clear you can be with your own truth and what's important, which impacts how authentically you will show up, which impacts how others will experience you, which impacts their level of trust in you and the amount of credibility you will create with them, which impacts your ability to influence others.
• Your self-care directly impacts your energy inside. Which impacts your energy and presence outside. Which impacts your ability to lead.
• The better we feel. The clearer we are. The more ownership we take for the things we CAN control (ie. how we take care of ourselves and set ourselves up for success). The more space we have within ourselves. And the stronger, clearer, and more generous we can be for others. The better our leadership impact.

I suspect that intuitively you know in someway this is true for you. The path may not be pegged perfectly, but you know that taking care of yourself is key. We all know this. You don't need me to tell you. (After all, I'm sure you're still eating your broccoli every night per mom, right?) But then why does it get overlooked so often?

Julie's reason came down to time, not knowing what she didn't know, and simply not realizing how important this was for her. The minute she started to address this, she shifted. Shortly after, her team noticed a difference. (Note: funny tidbit, one of the most powerful and simple things she did for herself to "get in front of it" with self-care was to clean her closet. No that is not a typo. She cleaned her closet.)

Pick your reason: You take it for granted, the pain of not doing it is not strong enough, you don't have time, it's not compelling enough, you just don't want to, or you just don't know. All reasons I hear daily. Instead of refuting the most common excuses, I'll offer you this: You don't know how good "good" feels until you're in it. And how good you feel creates an automatic ripple effect on how good you make others feel and how good you lead. It's actually very simple. (So simple, we forget.)

IMAGINE...

Imagine setting yourself up for success, so thoroughly - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that your body feels strong and alive, your mind clear and productive, your emotions true and steady and life-giving, and your spirit connected to meaning and what lights you up... imagine setting yourself up for success, so thoroughly, that leadership becomes easy, clear, powerful... and there is no struggle. This is what's possible when we take care of ourselves.

Yes, you need the tools and the competencies and the cause to lead for... Of course! We'll get you that. No problem. (That's the easy stuff.) AND, I assure you, all of these come easier when your personal foundation (inside and out) is clean, clear and steady. (That's actually the harder stuff.)

What do you notice? What's true for you? How do you see your self-care and connection to self showing up in your leadership impact? I'd love to hear.

*As always, names and deets of my stories are shifted a bit to protect identity. All people and situations I write about are composites of real people, real teams, real companies, real problems, real wins. All are true. I write from true experience, but rest assured names and any identifying details are always changed. If you read this and think it's "you" - it's not... or maybe it is icon smile The most obvious, yet crucial, thing overlooked in leadership. If you can relate, that means there's good good juice in this for you. Thanks as always to my clients, students, and readers for sharing your stories so they can support others in learning and leadership.

Leaders Confront What Others Avoid

Every great leader shares the characteristic of stepping forward and facing issues and situations that others are either fearful or anxious of addressing. One cannot be considered a real leader unless he fully commits to doing whatever is necessary to provide the greatest value and service to the organization that he has been selected or elected to serve as a leader. John Kenneth Galbraith stated, "All of the great leaders have one characteristic in common: it was the willingness to confront unequivocally the major anxiety of their people in their time. This, and not much else, is the essence of leadership." While I do not fully agree that this and not much else are the essence, I agree that leaders must step forward and lead by example, having the courage and foresight to speak out and act on issues that all too often, others shy away from. Perhaps the reason others avoid certain issues are fear, lack of self - confidence, lack of preparedness, weakness, anxiety, or a need to feel popular, but a true leader understands that he must step outside his personal comfort zone in order to lead.

1. One of the greatest anxieties facing leadership are the financial implications or fiscal responsibilities/ needs involved with optimizing an organization's performance, relevance and sustainability. In my over three decades of close work with well over a thousand leaders, I have come to believe that perhaps the greatest enemy of quality leadership is running away from difficulties (or procrastinating), in order to avoid making a mistake or being blamed. The reality is that blame has no part in leadership, for it is not constructive, useful or desirable. Blame is not motivating, and never solves or resolves a challenge. It is far more constructive to analyze situations, understand issues and needs, and look at the relationship between taking action to address short term needs, while not adversely impacting the bigger picture, which must be the long term meaningfulness of the organization.

2. Panic leadership is even worse than aimless leadership. Leaders who tend to be myopic (that is, see only the immediate challenge, which they invariably view as a problem) often so poorly overreact that they create more extreme long term obstacles. Great leaders, on the other hand, confront the issues that others are most anxious about, with a plan, goals, and an eye on the future. One can not be a true leader without a combination of self - confidence, inner strength and fortitude, a vision, courage to act, and the willingness to expand their own comfort zone as widely as necessary.

Each of us have things that we prefer to do, and things we'd rather avoid. The difference is that a leader does those things he doesn't like to do, because they need to be addressed and done.

An Executive Coach - Your ROI

What's the Return On Investment of working with an Executive Coach? This is such a juicy question. Ten years and over 1000 clients ago, as I tentatively opened my doors to my first incarnation of being an executive coach. I had very little understanding of the value I was bringing to my market. I charged accordingly at £50 to 100 an hour - where I could get that fee and I worked with some middle managers, some junior executives and many small business owners most of whom hired me out of their own salaries.

What happened? My clients thrived. There's no other way to say it. They were already good at what they did and since most of them had genuinely never had an agenda-free, them-focussed, you-define-your-own-success kind of conversation in their lives, the executive coaching conversations worked to massive effect. My clients were promoted, they got salary increases, some moved to dream jobs, others made huge personal changes and all of them thought thoughts and took actions that they wouldn't otherwise have known were within their sphere of choices.

How did I measure these results? It just couldn't be done on monetary terms. How do you measure clarity, reduced anxiety, increased courage, richer conversations and raised awareness? It could only be measured through lives lived out and success stories shared.

After about 50 clients and repeatedly seeing their huge shifts, I had to put my fees up. I continued to work for individuals - authors, publishers, editors, film producers - and then increasingly I go taken on by small then large corporates. I was seeing 2 - 6 clients a day and loving every conversation and every little light-bulb moment - of which there were many.

At this time - about 2004 - I was adding to my executive coach skillset with some further study around metaphysics. Thoughts become things. What we believe is what we see. Limited thinking produces limited results; courageous thinking creates extraordinary & fast-tracked outcomes.

How did I measure the success of this extra service? Again, it couldn't be done on monetary terms. My clients were loving it though - doubling their sales numbers, launching (and closing) new brands and some even starting families where they'd previously given up hope.

Every year I reviewed my fees and reviewed my client results until I was working with MDs, senior directors and international business owners. At this level the fact that I charged £400 an hour and £2500 a day really wasn't that relevant to an individual or a company. If a finance president had a breakthrough realisation, his company was the 7-figure beneficiary of that. If a marketing director left a coaching session with a richer strategy, her CEO and shareholders would celebrate those results and bank the bonus.

The money and the sales were never the point - they were the measurable outcomes. The point was (and still is) that a progressive professional could hire an executive coach to expose more of their potential and make their life easier, more meaningful and more successful.

When you hire an executive coach you believe your work life and your personal choices will change for the better. If you pick an experienced executive coach this will undoubtedly be the case. Your results can be measured by the improvements in your own life then and also in the lives of your colleagues, your family & friends, and those you'll never even know that you've touched and change.

A worthwhile return on investment is not just about what's released in your own experiences, it's ultimately about what you give back - your ultimate life's legacy.

Marriage - Men, Burn Your Bank Account

In the western culture marriage has a 60% divorce rate and out of that 40% that remain married, how many of them are actually happy?

Let's say for percentage sakes that 5% of that 40% are in fact happy, fulfilled and enjoying their marriage... What makes the difference between the 5% and the other 95%?

Alright you know I was joking about the bank account part, right? Ha ha...

I remember speaking with a friend and she shared with me how her (now husband) proposed to her by telling me, "Yeah so my husband is your typical 'bloke.' One night we were both sitting on the couch watching tv and he said to me, 'Go look in the fridge' and I asked him why and he just grunted. I got up and looked in the fridge and I told him I couldn't see anything and asked what I was looking for. He responded with 'look in the bowl of jelly!' and so what did I find in there? A wedding ring. I pull it from the jelly and look at him, only for him to turn around and say, 'You said you wanted to get married... So there's your ring.'"

Ha ha...

This is a true story, for real!

Did you laugh at this or did you think that it was appropriate?

I'm actually not here today to tell you what's right or wrong, only to ask some questions.

Alright second friend, here's how he told me he proposed...
"I wanted to make it a really big build up event for her so I called her work and told them I was asking to marry her and that could they send her home that day when she got to to work in the morning. I say goodbye to her as usual, and she comes back home to find a note telling her to go to this address. She arrives at the address which turns out to be a beauty spa, and she spends the next few hours there getting her massage and nails done and just pampered. The beauty therapist gives her another note upon leaving and she heads back home only to meet me. I'm there and we hang out at home for a bit as I tell her that I'm taking her to dinner. We get to the restaurant, have a lovely fine dining experience and then I take her to the beach and we walk along the beach and I pickup a bottle and inside of it is a box. I pull it out and kneel down on one knee, and I asked her right there if she would marry me... She said, yes and it was an awesome moment that I'll remember for the rest of my life."

Okay guys, so which proposal do you like better?

Which one do you think she will prefer?

Which one do you think will set the expectation that you're serious about moving forward in the relationship?

Which one do you think will have her feel special and unique to you?

Which one do you think will have her respect and trust increased in you?

Which one do you think will help her to feel even more close to you?

With the first example of the ring in a bowl of jelly and the way the proposal was delivered, do you think that she would ever hesitate to divorce him and take her 'half' if he took the relationship downhill?

What sort of foundation does he set for the future of the relationship/marriage by proposing with a bowl of jelly?

Ha ha...

Versus my other friend who planned an entire day to help her feel treasured, and to build all of that emotion and connection up to one single point where he proposed kneeling in front of her on the beach...

Which do you think would create the most connection and longer lasting 'positive' memory?

Okay so that's the idea of proposing and how by the nature in which you conduct yourself will have a direct impact on her and her level of responsiveness towards you...

Now, I wanted to speak also about what marriage means...

Have you ever taken the time to just sit down and think about what it really means?

It's funny, I always remember the movie Fight Club and the character Tyler Durden in the bathtub speaking about life after he gets asked about his parents...

"I finish school and I ask my father, what now? He replies, get an education. So I go to university, I call him up, what now Dad? He replies, get a job. I work for a few years and do well, then I call him up long distance and ask, what's next Dad? He replies, I don't know, get married!"

It's funny when I think back to that scene, and do you know why I bring that to your attention?

It's because most people do something, because everyone else is doing it.

Without evaluating the reasons behind why they do what they do.

Why is it that YOU would get an education, get a degree, get a job, get married, and start a family?

What's your reason?

Do you even know?

When you dig deep enough, people will come back with an answer that stems from social programming, such as, "It's just what you do, you get married and start a family."

Did you notice the start of that response?

"It's just what you do..."

It's just what OTHERS do in the society in which we live.

If you go to a native tribe in the middle of the amazon you'll notice what they DO is completely different to what we do, including what they DO about marriage and what it means.

Just like when you go to a certain country, in some cultures some women wear a lot of clothing to cover themselves up, and they have certain rules placed upon them when they get married.

In some countries, the women aren't even allowed to leave the country without the husbands permission, and the husband will even get a text message if she's caught crossing the border without his consent!

What I'm trying to get across to you is, what is YOUR definition of marriage?

What it means to your family, neighbors, friends, co-workers is NOT what it should mean for YOU.

YOU and the other person in the relationship.

It's time to stop following the sheep and start making decisions for YOU.

Instead of doing things because everyone else is doing it, start doing things for your REASONS.

In my opinion marriage is...

Marriage is defined only by the people in the relationship in which it was founded.

Meaning, what it means to you, and what it means to her, is what marriage means for the both of you.

So when you decide to get married, it should be based upon what the both of you believe and perceive it to be, not what others think it means.

Some people think marriage means having someone to cook your dishes and clean your clothes.

Some people think marriage means having someone dress in a lot of clothes, and not allowing them to leave the house without your permission.

Some people think marriage is having a commitment to grow together not matter what, through the challenges and successes, and to focus on building a future together.

Whatever your definition is of marriage is important, here's why...

If you don't get crystal clear on your definition of marriage, you will adopt someone elses and guess how that will work out for you? Not well.

Make sure the two of you have clear expectations of what marriage means, and that you're both up front with each other on that.

Otherwise one day you'll both realise you have different ideas on what marriage means and you'll find yourself conflicting and if you don't communicate well and resolve the conflict, she'll take her 'half'.

Ha ha...

But seriously though, if you don't get clear expectations of what marriage means to the both of you (at least to you) then you might as well set fire to your bank account.

Invest in stocks that you know have a 60% no-return rate.

Buy a house in an area that has a 60% chance of Tsunami or Earthquake.

Purchase one sock instead of two.

Good things come from the two of you being 100% with each other.

How High Is Compassion On Your List Of Priorities When It Comes To Leadership?

Compassion may not be very high on the priority list of leaders no matter where they may be leading and no matter what their field of leadership might be, but it was high on this leader's list and you will not find a leader with finer leadership qualities anywhere.

One man had heard of this leader and he was wise enough to do something about it. He was not just clever but he was wise. There is a massive difference.

He was an R.S.M. of a man. Most were, but this Roman Centurion was different.

In Capernaum, one of his servants is lying sick, and this servant is highly thought of by his master.

It was unusual to care for, or even be concerned about, a slave who would be far below you on the social scale.

This occupying army officer was a man of power, influence, authority, and reasonable wealth.

There was a crisis in his home. His personal servant was about to die, and he turns to Jesus Christ for help.

When a crisis arises it is good to turn to Jesus.

It is good to turn to Christ before a crisis appears.

He has a degree of faith in Jesus and he does something about it. His position in life did not prevent him from seeking Jesus publicly and openly.

As far as we know he had only heard of Jesus. We never know what might happen when someone hears of Jesus Christ 'second hand', through our testimony.

Do you think a friend had been praying for this man's heart to be prised open?

He simply wanted a word from Jesus, as he felt unworthy that Jesus Christ should come under his roof. Some people do feel unworthy.

A man who has real authority is often a man of few words. Long elaborate sentences are unnecessary.

He knew what it was to submit to authority, and therein lies another secret. He recognised the authority of Jesus Christ.

Jesus simply needed to command "Quick march!", and this sickness would have to go, leave, and disappear.

Jesus marvelled at the Centurion's faith. With a word the servant was made whole.

What you do with your problem is more important than what your problem does to you.

The word 'compassion' has almost been hijacked and confined to the realm of the physical. Jesus Christ saw people around him with such massive needs that he described them as sheep without a shepherd.

Men need a shepherd. Good leaders will shepherd people with care and concern and compassion. Does that happen in your place of employment and your college and school? Does that happen in your bank and finance house and business or is profit and greed and ambition the overriding motivations?

Jesus Christ demonstrated a spiritual dimension to compassion as he observed people who might by physically comfortable and well fed, but who, nevertheless, were harassed and helpless.

It is tragic when we shrink the biblical concept of compassion to mere outward physical and material elements.

Leaders need to take note and notice of the shepherdless people around us today, and there may even be those in leadership who need a shepherd to guide and advise and counsel.

If compassion is confined and confused, then people can become soft in the realm of morality and commitment and basic responsible care.

How high on your list of priorities is the characteristic of compassion exercised?

A Leader Motivates Followers To Carry On His Legacy

One of the most frustrating, and generally most difficult things for many in leadership positions to fully accept and grasp, is that regardless of how important and effective a leader's ideas, programs, concepts, and indeed, his vision, little productive will come out of it unless he is able to get others to buy into his ideas, share his vision, and become committed to assuring the implementation of those concepts. Leaders serve a finite term or tenure in office, and because there is no assurance that future leaders will grasp, and progress their ideology, must develop future leaders to embrace it. This requires a commitment on a leader's part, as well as a commitment, to locate, qualify, train and develop future leaders, thus molding them to become the type of leader that will embrace true leadership. Great leaders realize that, while what they do in the present, is significant, it generally pales with the impact their actions might potentially have in the future. It is essential to realize, therefore, that both action and procrastination are indeed actions, and both have longer lasting ramifications and impacts. Walter Lippman put it this way, "The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men, the conviction and the will to carry on."

1. True and effective leadership must always begin with an important and vital vision. Unless a leader has something that will motivate others to care more, and do more, and commit to do more in the future, he never becomes a meaningful leader. One cannot simply get others to carry on a legacy if there is no real legacy to carry on. The adage about the Emperor's new clothes is often analogous with wannabe or irrelevant leadership, who attempt to substitute lots of rhetoric and jargon, instead of truly having a vital vision. Great leaders understand that fancy words might grasp someone's attention in the short run, but in order to maintain attention and interest, it is necessary to motivate with substance and a true, vital vision. In order for others to commit long term, they must develop a feeling for the vision, and a belief that it is worth their time, energy, resources and commitment.

2. Great leaders undertake a concerted search for future great leaders. They dedicate time and resources to identifying them, and qualifying them. They realize that if an organization is to develop future real leaders, it must utilize professionally designed leadership training. Leadership training is not a one - shot activity, but must be a regular, continuing, progressive and ongoing activity. Today's leaders must take tomorrow's under their wing and lead them to the beginning of their greatness. It is a time consuming, and sometimes frustrating activity, yet is the only way that a leader can assure that what he truly believes in will live on beyond his tenure.

Great leaders don't spend time thinking about what their legacy will be. Rather, their legacy comes about because of what they do, how they lead by example, and how they motivate future leaders to share their vision and get actively involved.