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Kamis, 13 September 2012

Can Good Stress Improve Your Health?

It turns out that having a challenging career can actually be quite good for you. Counter to what we often hear, a landmark study recently found that certain types of stress are linked to living longer lives.

This research, summarized in a book called The Longevity Project, shows that qualities like ambition, perseverance, and motivation are pretty healthy for you.

But reacting to colleagues? Not so much.

Howard Friedman, Ph.D., who co-authored the study, wrote, "The results were very clear: Those with the most career success were the least likely to die young."

Perhaps we already know this intuitively -- living a purposeful life feels great. And the data indicates that purposeful living is healthier than feeling unsatisfied with your work, or not living up to your potential, even if you are not in your dream job.

Friedman says that your own road map is more important than family biology, and the chances of predicting your health and longevity from your genes are mediocre at best. "The experience of your relatives is not very precise at all. Your own life path matters more."

We all know that health care costs are increasing exponentially, and radical changes are needed to shift from a disease-focused system of care to a health-focused one.

Couple the questions about rising costs with the fact that our assumptions about what is healthy can be misleading, and we see how important it is to dig deeper into the longevity question. Also, common wisdom says that to live a long life you should exercise, not smoke, and eat well. These are helpful ideas, but is there more to the story?

Scientists are still striving to understand what causes people to live longer, according to Dr. Thomas Rando, Deputy Director at Stanford's Center on Longevity.

In a talk at the Aspen Ideas Festival, he questions the thought that aging is unavoidable. He mentions Jeanne Calment, the world record holder as the "clearly documented oldest person." In her 122 years, she met Vincent Van Gogh in her French hometown and almost saw in the millennium.

Anecdotally, Rando also showed the audience photos of Tina Turner at 70 compared to Charles Darwin at 64. Needless to say, Tina looked much better than Charles. Baby boomers today generally look and act much younger than people used to in their 60s.

It's not just boomers, either. "Eighty-year-olds today are living healthier lives than 80-year-olds used to. We don't know why," said Rando.

What occurs to me from reading the findings of The Longevity Project is that perhaps one reason for this is that people are growing in their sense of purpose. If qualities like conscientiousness and altruistic ambition are healthy, perhaps consciousness, rather than genes, plays a more significant role in longevity.

If so, then it's never too early to start thinking more about developing such spiritual qualities. But how do we bring them out in our lives?

At one point I changed careers after some soul-searching. I took a major cut in pay and a humbling shift in roles. My new, part-time, position was with an organization whose mission I fully supported, but I felt that the role didn't challenge me intellectually. I could be orderly, helpful, and kind; however, that didn't feel like it was enough. So I started to consider more deeply the kinds of qualities I wanted to be expressing while working.

I focused more on my spiritual identity as the expression of the divine consciousness that couldn't be hindered in its purpose -- and I saw that I was naturally able to exhibit the full range of qualities this entailed right where I was, no matter what chair I happened to be sitting in.

And as I expanded my thought, my job description expanded to embrace the need for those qualities, too. As it turns out, the part-time role soon led to a full-time one and then on to many bigger opportunities.

So that's one side of the coin. But what about reacting with hostility or hurt pride to interpersonal issues, which research has shown to be unhealthy?

For me, that's often the toughest part of work.

At one company, I worked for someone who was often vocal about his negative feelings and frustration with the work. I didn't know if I could continue on there. Sometimes I would find myself standing in his office doorway receiving a verbal lashing.

I sought guidance on this issue by turning again to a sense of what was spiritually needed. I was led to look for good qualities that this guy already expressed. It wasn't easy at first to see many, as I felt blinded by my reaction to his overriding negativity.

But I started to see that his heart was in his work, and he really wanted to benefit others through the efforts we made. I saw qualities like diligence and thoughtfulness.

After a few months of thinking this way, I realized I didn't have the same reaction to him anymore. Not only that, but he also started to visibly change his approach as he became more interested in spiritual aspects of life. Today we remain friends, and there isn't a trace of the animosity or resentment I had felt.

I still have much more to learn regarding harmonious interactions with people, but my daily aspiration is to appreciate what's good and divinely beautiful about the people around me. This approach helps me put aside feelings of wounded pride, jealousy, or dissatisfaction, and replace them with more love, selflessness, and stillness.

To me, this approach follows, in a small way, what Jesus meant when he said, "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." To seek what's good and pure ultimately leads to fullness and true satisfaction, so much more so than getting enmeshed in office politics.

If we find ourselves dissatisfied in a current role, seeking this type of spiritual fulfillment sometimes might lead to finding a new role. But other times, it may involve seeing differently what's been there all along.

That thought shift can change everything.

For more on Sharon Frey, click here.

For more on the spirit, click here.

 

Follow Sharon Frey on Twitter: www.twitter.com/sharonfrey

Rabu, 12 September 2012

Independent Woman

For me, being an independent woman is not about being married or single, having a lot of money or even about status in your career -- it is a state of mind. I feel like I have been an independent woman since I was 3 years old. I have always had a certain outlook on life that has carried me through adulthood and it stays with me to this day. It is what makes me an independent woman.

From when I was a little girl, it was that, "Wonder Woman", "I am Woman, Hear Me Roar" attitude that made me the woman I am. I know that if I want to achieve something, I will. That is not said out of arrogance; it is because I will not give up. If one opportunity ends, I will keep at it until another one presents itself. We, as women, have to believe in ourselves and take ourselves seriously if we want anyone else to take us seriously.

I think that too often, people confuse independence with never asking for help. We aren't born knowing everything. Over the years, to become more independent, I have had to ask for help many times. If you know how to do something and I don't, please teach me. How else will I learn? The next time I won't have to ask. I will be able to make home improvements by myself but I wasn't born with that knowledge. Someone showed me. Once I learned, I never had to ask for help with it again.

Can I ask a man to do it for me? -- Sure. Can I pay someone to do it? -- Yes. I just never wanted to be that dependent on the time or schedule of another human being (regardless of who it is). Besides, why do I need someone else to do for me what I can do for myself? You can sit around waiting for your prince charming to come ride up and save you or you can take the reins of your own white horse!

I didn't want to be held captive to someone else's plans or schedule. When I was young, I would call my friends to go out and they couldn't because they would be sitting around waiting for the superintendent of their building to come and fix something or their boyfriend fix their car. Eventually, I would get so tired of it that I would go over and fix whatever it was and, by the time our boyfriends got home, we went out for a girl's night and left the guys at home together. It wasn't long before this mentality caught on amongst my friends as we got older (and times changed).

The key to becoming an independent woman was gathering as much information as I could about as many things possible. If I didn't know how to do something, I learned. I read a book about it. Someone showed me. I took a class. I wanted to know how to take care of myself. It had nothing to do with men or relationships, it had more to do with pride. I wanted to take pride in myself and feel capable. I wanted to look at what I had just fixed or made and feel good about it. So, I return to my original statement: Independence is a state of mind. It is a feeling of pride and empowerment that no one can take away from me!

 

Follow SidneyAnne Stone on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SidneyAnneStone

Senin, 10 September 2012

Success Advice That Actually Works (You're Going to Want to Hear This)

I recently devoured Tama Kieves's new book Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life's Work! In it, Tama instantly becomes your career coach, biggest cheerleader and most understanding champion. She tells you why everything you think you need to succeed may actually be standing in the way of your success and shares why doing the work you love will bring you the best results. And she's not the woo-woo type that says things that sound nice but aren't actually applicable to your life or your business. She's a Harvard educated attorney-turned-super successful and sought-after career coach whose own story proves that she's on to something big.

Here are some of my favorite lessons from Tama's book for succeeding in your life's work:

1. Marry your dream. You and your dream are in it for the long haul. Rather than rush your dream -- which will just impoverish your experience -- relax and give your dream the time it needs. Though it's natural to feel antsy, Tama questions the idea that great things happen at great speed. "Train wrecks happen at great speed," Tama writes. "It's okay to explore, practice and deepen your craft."

2. Circumstances fluctuate, but your experience of ease and faith doesn't need to fluctuate with them. You know the ups and downs: one day you've scored a big client, sold a piece of your art, or found your name in print or lights, and the next day you're wondering how you'll ever pay the rent or find an agent or sell another one of your products. The ups and downs are part of the journey. But what doesn't have to be a part of the journey is all the angst and worry. Ride the waves.

3. Do the activities that come easy for you. I often come across tasks that I feel obligated to complete, but they drain and exhaust me. Sound familiar? Instead of trudging through them, take action that you have the energy to take, and either outsource or cross off the ones that deplete you. "Release yourself from unnecessary pain," Tama writes. "Move with your heart, not with your head." You will do and be your best at work you love to do. The rest is just distraction.

4. Accept imperfection. Don't wait to take action on that dream until everything's perfect. You have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is right here, right now. What's your need to be perfect costing you? My guess it's the chance to actually live the life you want to live, get your business off the ground and make your dream come true. As Tama says, the longer you avoid the possibility of failure, the longer you avoid success.

5. Go your own way. The way to success is your way. You get to discover, innovate, create and forge your own path. "Creating the work you love is not a path of doing everything right," Tama writes, "creating the work you love is a path of doing everything right --for you."

6. You're irresistibly attractive when you're naturally attracted. "Great energy draws abundant opportunities to you," Tama writes, "it's just natural and inevitable." So when you're filled with love and joy for the work you're doing and the activities you're engaged in, you're automatically attracting the opportunities and people that are right for you.

7. Excitement always leads you somewhere, unless you dismiss its value. You know those moments when you feel totally emerged, exhilarated and excited -- a total "yes" moment -- even when nothing totally concrete has happened? Don't discount that feeling. "It's not about literal outcome," Tama writes, "It's more about how an encounter makes you feel, the truth it ignites within you, the possibility that becomes real through you, and how you use and express that energy." Though these moments may fall apart later -- deals don't go through, clients don't sign up, a big account doesn't buy your product -- you have to relish the possibility. "Possibilities keep us alive," Tama writes. "Even if they don't turn out the way we hope, their energy gets us somewhere."


You can find Tama's book on Amazon. To get more from Alexis, check out her website.

 

Follow Alexis Sclamberg on Twitter: www.twitter.com/AlexisSclamberg